When life is so full, overflowing with practice opportunities at every turn, there is immense gratitude that’s difficult to adequately express. But there seems to be an internal chorus of “thank you” growing that can’t help but find its way into daily life.
As the year comes to an end it’s been helpful to reflect on all the Practice offerings from which the gratitude grows. Participation in Project Joy has been amazing; connecting with the Guide and Sangha daily, being reminded in so many ways of where I want to focus, gleaning the insights generously offered by others, and receiving the support of all through their participation. The email classes with Cheri, retreats, Reflective Listening Buddies, Open Air, and local and virtual meditation groups are just a few of the other offerings that provide powerful support for conscious compassionate awareness and an antidote to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. How lucky we are. How grateful I am.
Through these practice offerings and encouragement from the Guide a greater awareness of the “still, small voice” continues to grow. At first, the messages weren’t recognized until after the fact, but now the practice is to consciously listen to hear Life’s messages. And those messages are always there when I’m present and available. This is great motivation for being present! It requires recognizing and turning away from egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate and fine tuning to Life. I often get bamboozled but now see that as part of the learning process, part of what’s required on the path to freedom.
All the tools and honed skills from practice have been required for a self-directed “workshop” I am currently immersed in. This exploration grew out of the Undulations Socratic Email Class and is as challenging as anything previously faced because deep-seated beliefs are being challenged. No surprise that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is using all that it’s got to make this human give up, but the willingness seems generated and fortified by the heart’s desire. One of the biggest challenges has been learning not to believe that terrifically uncomfortable emotions warrant certain meaning or action. The two-handed R/L exercise has been the “go to” tool for working with this. Recording and Listening in general has been essential for reporting on conditioning’s lies, seeing how it all happens, tracking the process, and providing loving support. All along the way, when I make myself available, Life provides its wise and loving guidance.
This practice truly is an adventure that, as the Mentor reminds me, offers plenty of intrigue and fun. I loved a recent Project Joy assignment that suggested, “…remind yourself often that you’ve chosen to get on board with Life and commit to letting yourself thoroughly enjoy the ride.” The difficult and challenging times “are part of the excitement of the journey.” And I am so grateful for it all.