Noticing how perfection is whatever way Life is being expressed. "Pointing out" internally/externally someone's else's 1 characteristics, wishing they were different, is the same process happening with this person who has similar behaviors. It takes one away from compassion, love and acceptance in the Perfection of All. Gassho R/L
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Yes. We are here, able to see that Life is unfolding perfectly, or we’re caught in a conversation in conditioned mind about what’s wrong and what’s lacking. Being caught in conditioned mind is how suffering happens. Knowing how suffering happens is not the same as ending suffering, is it? We must recognize the process of suffering and turn attention away from it each time it happens if we are to find freedom from suffering. Gassho
I’ve long been aware of a resentment toward Life. Ego sets up a way life should be (perfect) and I’m resentful when it’s not. I am now seeing it’s really a resentment toward this being. “I” am so deficient because I can’t make life how it “should” be. Faulty premise! R/L
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A faulty yet very popular premise! It’s a great insight about what the “egocentric” in egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is referring to, isn’t it? I’m angry at Life because Life won’t make things easy for me. Yikes, huh? That insight is going to assist you to direct attention to Life from a humble position along the lines of, “I realize I don’t know; please assist me to see clearly.” Gassho
I see black-and-white thinking: either I have "too much to do" on my list, or I have enough time that I can afford to be distracted. Either way, I'm not present. I'm either "urgently doing to get caught up" or "urgently being distracted". R/L. Gassho
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“Urgency” being what the two states have in common. This is very good to see because “urgent” is first on the list of “attributes” of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Urgency, busyness, fear, anxiety, worry, something wrong, not enough, should, etc., are the ways egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate shows up and takes over a human life. Now you have the opportunity to take this to the source—the sensations in the body. Those sensations that feel like “gotta DO!” are the ones driving the behaviors. Do they mean you “gotta DO!”? No, but until you break that connection between the sensations and the behaviors you’ll keep believing they do! I always suggest dancing (or jogging or whatever takes up lots of energy and serves the human being) before letting the sensations drag a person into unhelpful behaviors. Gassho
I notice what seems like a gatekeeper working 24/7, sorting my experiences, thoughts, actions into good and bad. Whenever a task is not easy, or I don't know the right way to do it, I am frozen and can't act at all. It seems like this gatekeeper is hijacked by egocentrickarmicconditioning. R/L
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Or perhaps the “gatekeeper” IS egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate…. Hmm…. That will be good to watch for, eh? And you can easily see it because you’ve already seen the process! You’ve watched what happens and that’s what will enable you to see behind the gatekeeper to the content (experiences, thoughts, actions) and end the sorting! Very exciting! Gassho
I don't think Enneatype 1 is my dominant type but I definitely see that I often feel an ethical or moral superiority over others. It was interesting to see that as a personality characteristic, rather than the truth or arrogance. R/L
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Can you see that the process of assessing your experience had a decidedly One-ish quality to it? It’s important that the ethical or moral superiority over others is a personality characteristic rather than evidence that you are actually arrogant. See what I mean? Gassho
The impossible standard of “Expert”. Perfectionism creates a litany of self-defacing comments resulting in anxiety/depression. If not given recognition then hatred/jealousy surface. Perfectionism places attention on fear/failure, keeping me small, not allowing for growth, dismissing the moment as not enough therefore missing the Miracle of all that is.
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Perfectly articulated! Easy to see what a coup this whole fiction is for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, isn’t it? Truly astounding to consider by dropping one very large yet simple belief—the story of “perfection” told by the voices in the head—we would be free to enjoy a perfectly fine life. Worth pursuing, huh? Gassho
I was in a process of seeing how often I went to "something wrong" story and feeling disappointment for doing that. Feeling gratitude for seeing this ego story. R/L
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All stories are ego stories. Good to see that, isn’t it? We’re conditioned to look to conditioned mind to find out “what’s wrong,” then when we catch onto that we’re made to feel bad for doing what we’ve been conditioned to do. That system works REALLY WELL for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate! The whole thing happens in one place we call the dark room. Ego tells lies that we’re brainwashed into believing, and then we’re beaten for believing them. More of the stories to be revealed soon! Gassho
Noticed that the anger/resentment process is less active than before. Focus on “what’s wrong” is no longer compelling, because it takes away attention and appreciation from “the perfection of what is,” which, I am happy to notice, is much more compelling now. R/L
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That’s wonderful AND it’s important that we continue to be aware of those ego traps even though they’re “less active than before.” Karma has a way of circling around. We’re troubled with something, we start to see it and see through it, it goes underground as attention is drawn to something else, and when we least expect it, that karma is back. Gassho
"Procrastination from fear of making a mistake," is the characteristic of ONE that show up for me. Sometimes it has a frozen quality to it, feels like a life or death decision, "I" need to be scared, worried and miss what's right in front of me in the moment. R/L
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I sense you realize that “miss what’s right in front of me in the moment” is the whole point of the paralysis, yes? Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate does not/cannot exist in the present. If it’s going to maintain its faux existence, attention must be directed to the past or the future. It seems to exist in a story about “what went wrong in the past or what will go wrong in the future.” Those are imaginary “worlds” and ego is an imaginary “person.” You made mistakes in the past; you’re going to make them in the future—claims egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. That’s not true, but when identified with that system we believe it is. Here’s something you might want to try: Next time that procrastination/fear sets in, stop and ask yourself, “Is there a problem right now?” Notice how quickly the voices will attempt to pull you into a conversation about the future—because there isn’t a problem now! It will be illuminating. Gassho
Wow! When alone, procrastinate because fear of making a mistake and aversion when things are out of comfort zone, habitual reaction is to distract (numb down) or busy, in relation to another requiring showing up experience more of the perfection of Life. R/L
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I apologize for the repetitive nature of my responses, but isn’t it just the best to see this? All these things we struggle over and suffer with are processes. They’re processes and they aren’t unique! We’re all this way. We all feel the same things, hear the same voices, believe the same lies…. And the very best part of all is that we don’t have to struggle and suffer. We can see through all this crapola and be free to enjoy the perfection of Life. Hallelujah! Gassho
Bamboozle is: get everything worked out, then… And “then” never comes. When not present, resentment builds against ‘them’, it, circumstances that ‘I’ never get what is promised and the true culprit (the empty promise of leaving the perfect now to get it all worked out) is never seen! R/L
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Well, it wasn’t seen, right? You’ve certainly seen it now, yes? And things are gonna change! True? We see the scam and we’re not going to be conned as often or as long going forward. We have to phrase it like that because, let’s face it, the con artist has a lot of numbers to run and we’re going to need to see and see through all of them. That’s okay. When it’s a matter of life and death and we’re getting beaten at every turn, this whole thing is not a lot of fun. When we get it that we’re fortunate enough to be cleaning the glass in the window to eternity, we can see this is thrilling gig! Gassho
I’ve been practicing focusing my attention on what works in my life despite my health challenges. Sneakily, conditioning has now shifted the focus to what will be wrong as I ride the roller coaster of symptoms. There’s scant Perfection possible when I’m waiting for some other shoe to drop. R/L.
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Your assumption assumes the rollercoaster ride isn’t perfect. It is for that reason I’m betting you’re going to drop that assumption from one of the highest points on the ride! Because we know that each and every moment of life is our very best opportunity to wake up and end suffering, that each and every moment of life is a gift that will assist us to take another step toward freedom, we don’t need to perpetuate a phony “something wrong/not enough” conversation regardless of the circumstances. Yes? Yes. Gassho
Type 1 plays out in a striving to meet impossible, unreal standards. Unexpressed anger dogs this human. Of course! She tries so hard and the reward is a beating. Ego finds it impossible to imagine life outside these standards. Stewarding this human toward what is REAL and kind. R/L
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Ego finds it impossible to imagine life outside these standards and ego doesn’t want to. Ego has the goose laying the golden eggs and has zip interest in letting that goose loose. (You be the goose in this tale, right?) Time to drop the whole mess! You don’t need to fall for striving or the trying hard. Turn attention away from those two and giving attention to what is REAL and kind will be automatic. It’s so easy to find kindness when we drop ego because ego is fiction and kindness is what Life is. Gassho
My mother asked that the restaurant toast her toast more and I saw it all there: something is wrong with that, look down & avoid the discomfort, then EKC/SH says I shouldn't feel that way. Must fix myself.
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The system, egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, plays all roles with great skill and flexibility, doesn’t it? Your mother shouldn’t be that way, you shouldn’t be that way, heck, the cook probably shouldn’t be that way! If the cook had done a good job none of this would have happened! All of it, every moment, wrong, bad, oh, and, by the way, not even close to perfect. When we step back we can see the whole thing is nothing more than a giant setup for perpetuating suffering. You’re not going to get on that “fix myself” program, are you? Gassho
I'm seeing all the characteristics of Perfectionist in me. I grew up needing to be perfect to please my mother, so I'm not surprised to see this in me now. I still often judge others by the standards I've had since childhood, and I'm equally hard on myself.
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Yes, that’s supposed to make up for it. “Sure, I judge others but I’m even harder on myself.” The assumption is that it’s necessary to be hard on people, and as long as it’s equal opportunity abuse, it’s okay. Once we reach adulthood we can see what was going on with our parents. They were just like we are—overworked, underappreciated, stressed, and likely unconscious! They didn’t have a lot of patience with us little meet-my-needs machines, love us though they no doubt did. They just wanted us to behave so they could have some peace and quiet. As little kids we took that very personally; as adults we can understand it. Now we get to drop those decisions made in an uncomprehending, little-kid head. Time to realize we don’t need to “be hard on” anyone, starting with ourselves and letting the kindness and compassion overflow. Gassho
I am working hard to make perfect, often doing things twice. Always stressed, my body have several stress related diseases. Drugs, sex, sugar, alcohol and party to release stress. People often tell me why I am trying so hard. Practice brings relief, body gets better, opening for accepting. R/L
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Ego is a brutal taskmaster! “Do more, do it faster, do it better, do it again!!” Time to stop, huh? Just stop. The voices start their harangue and the answer is, “I wish I could be your beast of burden, doing your thankless bidding day and night, but I have this precious human being I’m caring for so I don’t have time or interest any more in doing what you want.” (That “I wish I could…” was tongue in cheek, you know. Not true, but why argue with a tyrant?) Bottom line: Quit trying to please an abusive voice in the head and bring unconditional love and acceptance to a deserving human being—you. Gassho
Saw my sister to a T, then realized I’m seeing myself as well. Upon consideration of ‘one’ traits, I “hear” I’m not as “bad” as I used to be (near perfect, perhaps?) Grinning, now laughing! Egocentrickarmicconditoning/selfhate is so funny/ironic! As long as I don’t believe it! That’s the key!
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Yes! That’s the secret. If we see egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate as powerful, it will be scary and we’ll suffer. If we see it as a buffoon, which it is, we’ll have endless entertainment. Gassho
I see the process of Perfectionist One in evaluating my behavior/choices” past, present or future” and the belief about what a good practitioner does vs what they do not do. There is a right answer to what makes a good practitioner and I know’ (or should know) what that is.
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We start in childhood at home, take all the learned beliefs and behaviors to school, take them to jobs and relationships, and when we take up a religious or spiritual path, here come the same beliefs and behaviors. I often kid people that even though they never had a thought about meditation, the moment they decide to take up a practice the voice in the head is an authority on meditation. Time to retire that “authority”? Gassho
Having spent unusual amounts of time recently in hate and resentment, I empathize with the types who, say, "default" to this. This empathy helps me get on the same side of the table of the 1's I know, instead of ricochetting their anger back to them. Gassho. R/L
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This is how the compassion grows, isn’t it? That’s the reason we were excited about offering this class. As we see it’s not just them, it’s all of us, we can bring more sympathy and kindness to all of us. Gassho
Relate to most Type 1 attributes “ how I interact w/ world. Seems important to accept rather than change. Inspiring guidance to notice “the perfection of all that is”. Add recent Project Joy assignment - do the impossible: Find the joy in it. (Changing directions of striving for improvement.) R/L
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Yea! Letting go that “striving for improvement” makes the whole world a happier place, doesn’t it? When we see how egocentric that desire is, it gets easier to drop it. As we drop the egocentric focus on I/me/my (how good/bad I am) we find we can trust Life to “orchestrate” us perfectly! Gassho
Ego immediately "knew" the answers to the exercise. Mentor suggested working with it. I saw many of the One characteristics, but then it dropped in to turn to life, and it's been so fun! Ego says I'm doing the assignment wrong, of course, LOL. R/L
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What a joy to recognize that “you’re doing it wrong” as a confirmation we’re on the right track! The other point you’re making is a crucial one: It’s way more fun to be with the Mentor in Life than to be ego’s version of “right.” Gassho
When I allow the voice(s) of Egocentric Karmic Conditioning to sound louder than lovingkindness and being present, I judge myself and attempt to “be better”. I am hard on myself; I am hard on others. I miss out on the beauty of “here and now”. It’s a lose-lose deal. R/L
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Yes, indeed it is. Going through life with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is a painful, suffering, lose-lose proposition. A couple of things for you to consider: “You,” the authentic human being, do not judge yourself; the voices of self-hate judge you. And, “you” are not hard on you; the voices of self-hate are hard on you. They’re also hard on others. They talk you into identifying with ego, into being harsh and judgmental, and then beat you for being that way. Keep practicing directing attention to thisherenow, to lovingkindness and presence, and don’t worry about anything else. Okay? Gassho
Very self-critical, one right way, mentally comparing, and procrastinator. This brain just can't understand when things happen or people do things that seem illogical. Wearing a long sleeved sweater on a hot day. Keeps me anxious, therefore a prisoner to the process of enneatype 1
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It’s not the brain that’s the issue, it’s being in a conversation with self-hate in conditioned mind. What you’re noticing is that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate has trained you to look to it, and you do. Doing that keeps you in conditioned mind where you’re fed endless nonsense about comparison and logic and what’s right and wrong. The result is that you feel anxious, and the anxiety causes you to look to conditioned mind where…. It’s a habit. As you break that habit, bringing attention to presence (the body, the breath, the senses, what is, here and now), you’ll feel the anxiety fade away. Gassho
Most characteristics of One seem foreign to me. However, the last question in the exercise “how does focusing on what’s wrong with how things are keep me away from the Perfection of the moment?” definitely hits a chord. Worry, anxiety, comparisons definitely can keep me from experiencing life. R/L
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Excellent looking! So much of awareness practice happens—or doesn’t happen—just like that. At first we can’t see it. Whether we’re aware of it or not we’re getting information that “Nope, I don’t think so….” No big resistance, just a kind of casual “nah.” But we keep looking, and before long we can see it. Now there’s an opening to explore. Gassho
One is strongest when I see people abusing the carpool lane. I think of myself as flexible but on closer examination I have a rigid "my way" that I adhere to, mostly from fear of punishment or scorn. Deep within, a pent-up rage is looking for a target.
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Oh, that IS good to see, isn’t it? Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate tells us what we need to hear to keep believing the other things it’s telling us. “I’m a relaxed, open, flexible sort of person” keeps me from seeing that ego is pointing out every little sin and crime being committed by everyone else. All those ways I don’t get to be but other people do! And the resentment grows. And it festers. Right? We can guess those people who suddenly “snap” and commit some violent act are suffering from the same fiendish process. In most of those cases we hear from family and neighbors that “X was always such a nice, polite sort of person.” Gives us more compassion, doesn’t it? Gassho
Resentment for "having" to work all the time. Take it out on partner. He is clueless what he has done other than being the recipient of my anger. Make amends but happens again. Seeing that I must take care of myself. No one else can do it for me. R/L
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That is a helpful insight. It’s true we must each learn to care for ourselves, AND we can learn to support one another in that process. The “having” tells me you’re on to how ego is conning you. It’s not so much that you “have to work all the time,” it’s how egocentric karmic conditioning/ self-hate is orchestrating that process. Yes? As you’re working it’s building the resentment, much as we just talked about with your neighbor. It’s egging you on to be bitter, feel like a victim, and then be justified in exploding all that pent up energy on your partner. Watching that process is going to provide more distance from ego’s shenanigans, and working with the Mentor is going to assist you to have that energy for you in ways that are happy and healthy. Gassho