Working in the "helping profession" can trigger my helper muscle. Noticing when the helping veers over into directing is key. Assuming I know what is "right" for anyone else often leads to disappointment & resentment. Disappointment & resentment fuels Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate and can injure those I seek to serve. R/L
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Beautifully stated. Once again we get to see how a self-serving ego uses our best impulses to feed its insatiable hunger at our expense. That “line” you reference is the one we’re always keeping an eye out for in practice: When does a genuine wish to participate get taken over by ego. Another way of saying that might be when does an impulse in the heart become a conversation in the head? Gassho
I see that "my love makes the world go around" gets activated when "I" feel vulnerable or unhappy, and when I am just doing what I choose, it fades. R/L
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What you’re exploring can be what’s often referred to as a slippery slope. Ego feels vulnerable or unhappy (we know it’s always claiming to feel something that requires us to give it attention), and that signals “you need to do something to fix this.” It could seem the answer is to always do what ego wants so it won’t be unhappy, right? What we get to see here is that both those choices—doing something for someone else or just doing what I choose—are ego-feeding choices. What we’re going for in awareness practice is presence that enables us to follow Life’s guidance. There’s no place for ego in that choice! Gassho
Having better ideas is a form of helping. I see one way to do a project; the other person has their way. The project takes a long time if I’m being ”helpful” because we continually navigate between the different approaches. If I don’t help then I’m shirking my responsibility. R/L
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Really? You mean that’s what you hear as the goad that will get you to jump in with those better ideas? I’m guessing that’s the case since it’s hard to imagine it’s actually “your responsibility” to turn doing a project into constant negotiations between “my way” and
“your way.” Gassho
Resonating with 2 also! Giving, expecting something in return, isn't really giving. No wonder there's so much resentment. Seeing every encounter can be conditional, according to egocentrickarmicconditioningselfhate. Knowing there is so much genuine generosity and compassion in this and all hearts. Ego can stake its claim on ANYTHING! R/L
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You got it! “Ego can stake its claim on ANYTHING!” And it will and it does! It has no shame and there’s certainly nothing sacred for ego. It wants attention, preferably the attention that comes with suffering, and it will do anything to get it. Great insight! Gassho
In relationship, focusing on others needs before own. Karma chooses relationships with "takers", reinforces belief, and assumption (and experience) nobody is here for this one unless "I" separates. Lose Lose, know movement is to adequacy, and see how karma has chosen current relationship. Help! R/L
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You know that “Help!” is ego nonsense, don’t you? You don’t need any “Help!” and giving that to ego is not going to get you where you can see you want to go and are going. You’re seeing how it works! That’s awareness practice! Keep paying attention and all will be revealed. Freedom comes with the revelations and the choices those revelations engender. Gassho
My process combines one and two. selflessly helping other people is the right thing to do; telling other people about it is bragging! Strong stories about how appreciation is deserved, which must come from others to be true. Having some success getting “noticed” and appreciated by the mentor. R/L.
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Well, enjoy that fiction of “having some success getting ‘noticed’ and appreciated by the Mentor” for just as long as you can! It will be short-lived as you get clearer about what that relationship is. The Mentor is Authentic Nature. It doesn’t “notice and appreciate us,” it is us! Gassho
I especially see this at work with a belief that the most important thing is winning my boss's approval, and then I'll be happy/loved. The miracle I've been experiencing lately is that I can feel that just by taking care of myself - no approval needed. R/L
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And, the best part of that movement is that you will likely be able to see that the boss does approve of you. Looking through the lens of ego, we can’t recognize the fact that we are adored by All That Is Divine! Gassho
I can attend to the needs of others so much that I neglect my own. Then, I feel resentful and unloved. I know this patten well and practice breaking it all the time. Stil, itl can sneak in deviously. The root, I think, is still sticky self-hate and I want to drop that. R/L
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The root is sticky ego and its “henchperson” self-hate. Yes. It will keep sneaking in until we learn to recognize all its guises and cease to fall for them. You’re doing the awareness practice that enables that to happen—keep up the good work! Gassho