I enjoy time alone and need to recharge after being social or busy. A strong “too much to do not enough time” karma causes me to limit social time because I can’t get enough done. I used to believe it, now I practice with finding balance, saying YES more. R/L
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Proving that, as the old Zen types say, “When you pay attention, everything enlightens you.” The voices in conditioned mind say this and that; we get to use all of it as an opportunity to end suffering. Saying YES tends to hustle a person on down the path, doesn’t it? Gassho
Belief that I need hours alone everyday on the couch. It would be life changing to 'have enough energy' to redirect those hours to another purpose. Ego says, 'But I'm an introvert.' Mentor is curious if this human might feel energized by some other activities, too. R/L
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Go with the Mentor! It’s fine that ego wants to live with a label such as “introvert, but you don’t need to be limited by that. We are all expressions of All That Is. There are no borders, boundaries, or limits in All That Is. You and the Mentor can have some heart-to-hearts with the other “folks” sharing “your” body who would LOVE to get up off that couch and LIVE! Gassho
Five was my hometown. Now, thanks in large part to your crystal-clear and inspiring books and workshops, home has shifted. New address: participate fully, engage with life! venture out from mental realms of thought, interact! express emotions, share! Moving day is every day; it’s an on-going event and celebration.
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Thank you. THAT is truly inspiring. Don’t have to be an Enneatype 5 to take on that “nomadic” lifestyle. Following where Life leads, no questions asked, loving the whole adventure. Gassho
Habitually flooded by emotions, I've often felt 'broken' next to Fives who can (outwardly) control their emotional energy and seem confident and composed. The voices disdain my lack of polish. Conned, I too have chosen isolation, avoiding social situations with 'unsafe' people, sequestering myself with numbing media. Gassho. R/L
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In the past, right? You did that in the past, yes? Avoiding “unsafe” people can be just plain old intelligent as we learn to let Life take care of us, but sequestering oneself with numbing media is just never going to lead to anything good. Seems you’ve noticed that, huh? I hope you find practice to be the “middle way” for you. Increasingly choose to “be with” (in person or via technology) people who are “safe” in the sense of operating within the Privileged Environment and take responsibility for their own experience. No more “numbing media,” please. (Open Air is always an option, you know.) Gassho
Seeing the story “I can’t handle it” feeds the isolation and figuring things out. No intrusions or impositions wanted. Time slots are divided into must endure while longing for want to do. No fun! Way out is loving what’s in front of me now. R/L Gassho
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Yes, that is the “way out” of ego’s prison. Just let the intelligence animating you choose for you. We can safely say “Whatever” to Life and “Yes” to what Life presents. Takes all the guesswork and worry out of our days! Gassho
When identified there’s a belief that there are only so many “tokens” to be used in any area -time, energy, generosity-this leads to being “stingy” and limiting this human’s participation in Life. This process leads from and to a conversation in conditioned mind. R/L
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That’s the worst part, isn’t it, that conversation in conditioned mind. As soon as we buy any story put forth by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, we find ourselves required to consult conditioned mind for “guidance.” The Enneatype 5 is much more prone to get snookered by the “not enough” than the “something wrong.” It’s true those two tag-team famously, but the “not enough” is the true Achilles heel for the 5. Until we see it so clearly…. Gassho
Ego saw the assignment as intrusive! Noticing it's not really avoidance of emotions, it's avoidance of the conditioned meanings attached to emotions, which create more emotions, then more avoidance, always energy draining. Seems any enneatype is a strategy for avoiding Life and Practice a strategy for joining Life! R/L
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Well stated! We could add to what you wrote that the strategy for joining Life is energy giving, yes? There’s that image in Buddhism of the Wheel of Karma. It’s turning and turning in the direction of suffering—avoiding Life and draining energy. Then we find practice. The Wheel slows, comes to a halt and begins turning in the other direction, away from suffering, toward Life, gaining energy. Nice, huh? Gassho
Intruded on; demanded by others. Never enough me time but, there is so much time for noodling and irritation. At work, feel threatened by authority - they are so corrupt. Observer me, scanning for what's wrong/annoying. Isolating from others. Get to be self-righteousness. Gassho R/L
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When we step back and see it so clearly, it’s a YIKES moment, isn’t it? What feels so right, so justifiably good, when we’re identified with ego looks downright creepy when we step back from it. When disidentified I can see that “I” AM that person I can’t stand! This is why we keep reminding ourselves that we are NOT that ego, we are the awareness that can see the ego. Doesn’t matter what ego is doing; it’s our opportunity to see it in action and choose presence. Gassho
"Watching the experience of “emotions feel out of control” when anger arose. Watching how “I” isolates to “figure it out.” Watching how unspoken judgment of anger/emotion shuts the human down. The Mentor suggests a recording that supports the human in focusing on the body sensations when emotions arise. Nothing wrong. R/L
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That’s a great plan the Mentor is suggesting. Whether one is identified with Enneatype 5 or not, that’s a great awareness practice tool. Thank you for that. Gassho
Conditioning says I find myself in every Enneatype, make up my mind. Just one more thing I can't decide. Life tells me it's OK to notice and take joy in all the things I am, it doesn't mean anything if I see some of myself in all these types. R/L
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We are all expressions of All That Is. If we’re NOT seeing ourselves in all the types, we’re being bamboozled by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. You can have this as a “nanner, nanner, nanner” moment with ego (thumbs in ears, fingers waving like a righteous 5-year-old!) because you’re right and it’s wrong! (Nothing in awareness practice requires us to act like a “grownup.”) Gassho
Never identified much with five; reading this I was surprised that many of five’s characteristics fit. This is good to see because if not present, conditioning views five’s characteristics as something wrong with me. On to it! Now see it’s only egocentrickarmicconditioning/self/hate harassing me with it’s five-ness. Presence is key! R/L
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Presence is ALL! Don’t you just adore disidentification? We step back and see, “Ah ha, there’s nothing wrong with ‘me,’ it’s all an ego con.” Much more fun way to live! Gassho
Identifying as an Observer I compartmentalize, making artificial boundaries around everything in my life, believing this gives me control. Actually, it stops cross-fertilization and keeps energy constricted. Slowing down and breathing consciously brings me to center and unconcerned with dividing life up into "manageable" pieces. R/L
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Yeah, when we step back far enough to see what egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is fooling us into believing, we can see that actually Life is in control and doesn’t need any help from a puny little ego. Ego hates that of course but once we relax into “letting go and letting Life,” we lose interest in what ego does or does not hate. Gassho
Sense of safety/control, with intellectual analysis; figuring it out; rather than feeling. Lost opportunities for connections to self, and others. Using awareness strategies of centering, listening and reflecting back, before analysis. Relaxing the calculus for safety, asking holistically: What is life offering? R/L
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This is another example of how cleverly egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate gets us to avoid questioning the original premise. All those behaviors are based on the assumption that 1) we’re not safe, and 2) we can control that. When we begin to question those assumptions, we can see the fallacious nature of the beliefs. We have no evidence that anyone has ever been able to control what happened to them. What happens to us, happens to us. We can build a fantasy world of “yes, but it could have been worse” or “but if you hadn’t such and such,” but that’s all fantasy. The fact is what happens, happens. Might as well learn to enjoy it, huh? Gassho
Often instead of listening to people talking I'm listening to conversations in the head. Ego goes on about everything possible--stories about them, comparisons, meanings. It will say, "You're stupid--you can't follow" and "they're wasting the effort of your attention and valuable time." Isolates me. Tired of it. R/L
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Good for you. We can give only so much life force to ego maintenance before we realize we’re not getting anything back for our contributions. No begins the process of taking ego out of the role of controlling you! Gassho
Yikes! I've morphed from a 4 to a 5. I thought life was providing me solitude and space to recover from a long season of loss, but now wondering if I've slipped into 5's isolation and imagined safety. Maybe both scenarios are true and it's a matter of finding balance.
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Maybe neither is true and it’s a matter of finding Life. Perhaps it’s time to drop conditioned mind and get into thisherenow, build a relationship with the Mentor, and eschew “figuring it out”? Gassho
I am afraid. If I can know how things work then I can be prepared for "Armageddon." Protection masquerades as a need for privacy. Meta message. Trust no one or risk annihilation and death. My heart longs for connection. Must take the risks.
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One of my favorite movie scenes of all time is from an old Indiana Jones film. The fellow sends Indy off to save the world from the bad guys, admonishing him to “Trust no one.” Of course the one person Indy shouldn’t have trusted was the guy who told him to “Trust no one.” The guy didn’t lie! That’s what ego is doing to you. The voice in your head says, “Trust no one…” and you believe that means “no one else.” What you need to realize is that the primary thing in this world that is not to be trusted is the voice in our own head! True story. Ego is the source of all danger and all fear. Gassho
Started out noodling...knowing that I go to my head all the time figuring out. Words...too many words that cause suffering.
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And so? And thus…? Gassho
Have really struggled with a need to spend time alone, especially first thing in the morning. Always thought it was just who I am. Now see that there are other options and that shutting myself away with egocentrickarmicconditioning/selfhate is not the best way to take care of myself. R/L Gassho
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GREAT CATCH! “… shutting myself away with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is not the best way to take care of myself.” Amen to that! Time to explore those other options, yes? Gassho
Too much input is exhausting, avoid drama, tendency toward isolation; causes me to keep my life small and suffering. Can see egocentrickarmicconditioning/selfhate at work here, telling me this is too big, better leave it alone. I see its tricks but still fall for them. Fall down, get back up.
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There you go. We are Daruma Dolls. Ego gets us, tricks us, fools us, then we come to, get back here, and acknowledge what we’ve learned. THAT is the whole point of Recording and Listening practice—it enables us to “keep” the insights we’ve received in conscious awareness. Without that, ego can just close over the insights and pull us right back down. Gassho
As a seven, my path to integration is through recognizing the aspects of 5 that are helpful: observing what is actually happening in every moment, relabeling "boredom" to peace, finding joy in the ordinary, and noticing impatience. Sitting is extremely helpful for me.
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Actually, sitting is extremely helpful in dropping the “me,” yes? Do you know what happens when you’re identified with the aspects of 5 that are not helpful? Gassho
It’s finally happened. I don’t see myself anywhere in this description.
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Then you’re not looking to presence; you’re looking to conditioned mind. Gassho
I don’t think I have strong feelings. I believe I have a good balance of very pleasant alone time and social time. It is easy for me to organize my life so I am comfortable and engaged with those that matter to me. Maybe I am just lucky.
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Maybe. Maybe it would be helpful to look a little deeper. Gassho
Seeing all #5 characteristics in myself. I like to control as many aspects of life as possible, require much alone time, and keep emotions in check. I don't enjoy social gatherings and prefer to spend evenings with my dogs and a good book. R/L
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Well, you’re doing awareness practice so I’m guessing you’re looking at whether those are “choices from center” or having your life dictated by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. When we talk about being in control and keeping emotions in check…. Know what I mean? Gassho
"Focusing on “my” time and energy keeps me suffering and separate from life and is exhausting! Feelings and emotions: don’t know what they are or what I’m looking for. So I know ego has its claws deep into me pulling the wool over my eyes! Time to remove the wool. R/L
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Awareness practice, another way of saying, “removing the wool.” You are embarking on a truly exciting adventure, and I sense that 1) you know that, and 2) you’re bringing a great sense of humor on the journey. A sense of humor is perhaps the most essential thing to bring on this path to awakening because ego despises humor! Gassho
Fiveness shows up in wanting to be alone with strong feelings although crying is the one permitted. Recently saw that going off to cry was going off to be with ecocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate. Yikes! most certainly not safe. I no longer indulge this abuse. I turn to the recorder instead. R/L
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Oh, good for you! That is a truly inspiring message for all of us. Going off to “be alone with strong feelings” is going off to be alone with ego. Absolutely not safe! Thank you for that! Gassho