Listening repeatedly to description helped illuminate this 5 aspect: Experienced people feeling intrusive-responded by avoiding/hiding-out (not answering phone call/texts). Felt intruded & depleted by people. Underneath avoidance are beliefs of scarcity/not enoughness and have to/should. Never seen avoidance from this lens. Turning to Life to care for practitioner. R/L
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This is very good, isn’t it? Looking to scarcity (ego) to take care of us will never give us what we need. We’ve all met those people who would, as they say, throw anyone under the bus to cover their own behind. That’s a very good description of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Not only would it, it does in every moment it can elbow its way to the front of attention. Gassho
I've seen much about type 5 but not the pattern of reserving strong emotion until alone to process, and that rings true. It’s risky (to ego!) to be spontaneous in expressing emotion, and an interesting place to pay attention. See that "saving energy" is based on scarcity, a lie.
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It gets easier and easier to recognize the lies, doesn’t it? What ego is most afraid of is that we’ll realize we can do whatever we want, being guided by Life rather than controlled by it. Once we get it that without self-hate we’re free to learn, ego is in the rear view mirror. Gassho
I see ego pulling me out of the stream of life to read 'how to' knowledge to make me wise before I go back in- to stay safe from strong emotions or from living 'wrong', or 'unwisely'. I see using home as a safety shield from life and when fatigued."
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It’s great to have home as a refuge, isn’t it? What we’re getting to see here, though, is that the controlling voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate will make home a prison. We lose our ability to chose, required to do what they say we must do to be all right. No freedom in that, is there? The independent 5 does not take kindly to being controlled, once the control is recognized as such. Gassho
Appreciating privileged environment. Often trying to avoid people interactions, especially if unpredictable. Casual socializing is overrated. Not seeing much about 5ish nuances “keeping me out of Life“. Can see lots of 5 in type 7 girlfriend “we“ are all types. Ego “satisfied“ to use any of them. R/L
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I’m not sure what you’re saying here. Are you saying you can see 5 tendencies in wanting to avoid people interactions and casual socializing? That words such as “unpredictable” and “overrated” point at strong 5-ish opinions? It sounds as if those attitudes do “keep you out of life,” at least the parts of life those attitudes want to keep you out of. Gassho
I am seeing how the need for time alone doesn’t have to be obsessive. Looking through illusions of control brings more insight. One of ego’s greatest bamboozles has been verbal abuse for strong emotional expressions. Practice is showing me how to experience that energy with great joy and gratitude. R/L
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We have an experience egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate simply doesn’t have—being human. We are sentient beings. We have bodies. We feel. Looking for information to something that does not have a body, does not have emotions, cannot feel (and has extremely limited mental capacity), just doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it? But until we see it, we don’t know what’s happening or that there’s an alternative. Let’s hear it for awareness practice! Gassho
Seeing five-ness in my default response to new situations: do exhaustive research before acting to prevent “mistakes,“ discomfort. Excessive personal interaction drains my energy, so it‘s “realistic“ to limit participation. Observing is safer. Ego calls all this prudence, but it’‘s really fear of not being adequate to my life. R/L
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Actually, it’s ego’s fear that you’ll realize you are adequate to your life and that you don’t need it. Oops, too late. You already saw it. Now “you,” authentic human being, get to use those well-honed skills of “looking into” to question ego’s assumed “authority.” Gonna be fun! Gassho
Dropping stories, slowing down, R/L, and doing the assignment. You can do it! Sometimes I experience keeping feelings “safe“ and hidden. If the other person isn’‘t going to listen to me, I don‘t bother talking. There is a holding back to be safe aspect that I notice. R/L
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And you’re obviously noticing that “program” is not giving you the “safety” you want, true? Being safe at home with a killer is just not what we’re looking for! How is that system a killer? It robs us of our life. It may leave us walking around, but we’re not ALIVE! I know you know what I mean. Gassho
First, a sense of delight by self at being seen. Second, a voice saying "any reasonable person would have these beliefs." Mentor: "My dear, we are being given the gift of seeing where egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate is most comfortable --let's not trade the gloriousness of life in this unique expression for that." R/L Gassho
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Wise words for all of us to live by! A “reasonable” person might choose to live by “beliefs,” but an awake/present person? NEVER! Gassho
Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate can get annoyed by social interaction. Around certain people, it is safest to observe. The voices remind me to avoid running into people I know, lest I have to converse with them. Showing strong sadness or anger is often avoided; vulnerability is scary to the ego. R/L
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You’ve got that groovy R/L so I’m guessing you’re using those messages from egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate to bring you right to present attention, yes? Very good. Oh, and you are doing everything you can to scare ego right out of existence, aren’t you? Very good! Gassho
Listening to my son and husband discuss finances and technology, I feel clueless and frightened. According to the voices, knowledge will keep me safe, and I know virtually nothing about those areas. Doomed! Relief comes from counting breathes, smiling, staying present to life.
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A while back we were on a regular “learning to love learning” kick around Sangha. (I was truly hopeful that someone would take that up and write a book on the subject.) Social conditioning, formal education, pretty much knock a love of learning out of folks. Start something and you should already know everything about it. Don’t know? Don’t start. You sound like an intelligent person who could learn those subjects if you want to. If you don’t want to, drop the “clueless and frightened” part. There’s a ton of stuff everybody doesn’t know. No reason to be frightened about that. See what I mean? Gassho
Responding to the trait of wanting predictability, wanting to know what will happen. Wanting an assurance. Realize this is all conditioning. What "I" really want is the ability to trust in life, to know; there is no predictability, everything changes in a moment and "I" am still alright, always alright!nR/L
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Yep, that’s it. We’re as all right as we will let ourselves be. What does that mean? The amount of attention we give to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is the amount of “not all right” we are. Stop giving attention to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, and it would never occur to us that we might not be all right. How’s that for a good deal? Gassho
Delayed emotions. I cry alone. When my feelings are hurt attention goes to conditioned mind - "those deep feelings will destroy you, they're unbearable." Then it beats me for doing nothing. Human suffers going back & forth. Drains energy. Now attention is on process. Practicing with Mentor's love. R/L
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Good job! Clearly those “deep feelings” won’t destroy you, since they haven’t. Clearly those “deep feelings” are not unbearable, as you’ve borne them. Those voices are a lying sack of tu tu, aren’t they? And to that lying sack people give all their glorious life energy. You have seen the light and you are now in the “keep all the energy for the human” program. Gassho
Read the assignment, heard, “nope, this is the one not related to you,” R/L’d the assignment, listened and got to see how some five characteristics are familiar. So rather than being in a conversation, there was the space to have and pay attention to the experience. R/L Gassho
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Let’s underline that, shall we? By practicing, R/Ling the assignment and listening, you got to have your own direct experience. What a concept, huh? Not being in a conversation in conditioned mind, you got to experience the aware, awake, intelligent human being that we call “you” and you call “me.” WHAT A GIFT! Thank you for that! Gassho
Egocentrickarmicconditioning/self hate says no one wants to hear what I have to say, my opinions are just fuel for conflict. What I say may turn out to be wrong, or something I recommend may hurt someone and then it will be my fault. Best to just observe and keep quiet. R/L
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Absolutely! Unless we consider that the one person we know for sure is being hurt is the human being listening to that crapola, right? You’re on to it, aren’t you? The thing I know from what you’ve written is that for you to be the rabble rousing, mistaken screw-up those voices want you to believe you are, you’d have to go to rabble-rouser screw-up school! And then you wouldn’t be able to pull it off! Not a chance. You can safely let that load go. Gassho
There is a desire at times to "know an outcome", to have assurance that something will happen, especially to provide a sense of security that things will turn out well. Interesting to recognize how then happiness gets projected out there. Another reminder to come home to happiness, here/now. R/L
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Yes, indeed. That’s lovely. “Come home to happiness.” That’s it, isn’t it? Gassho
The focus on "my" time breeds resentment, scarcity and separation. The cue- "there is that type 5!" helps disidentify and turn to Life where there is plenty of time for All, including the person who might need a little extra time. Totally different energy. Gassho R/L
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So true. As a classmate phrased it, “wanting time doesn’t need to be obsessive.” We don’t always need extra time, do we? Sometimes we do, and when that’s the case Life will supply it. We don’t need to turn to ego to make Life happen! Gassho
Much fiveness here-- ego says "knowledge is safe, people are scary". I try to balance alone time with social time, because even though I feel safe alone, I also feel lonely. Unless I'm doing. I'm not sure how to just "be" other than meditation or music, ignoring the ego voice.
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Well, stick with practice and in a (truly) shockingly short period of time, all will be revealed. You’re paying attention to what’s happening with you now—that’s the first GIANT step! Gassho
I don't want to deal with any sort of anger. So I told her about the information withholding process I was in. She said she thought it was sexy, and kissed me. R/L
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Proving those voices that are always going on about the “you can’t/you have to/you’d better not” know NOTHING about Life or Love, yes? Gassho
Saw the grasping that occurred when two people shared gossip. More knowledge = safety according to this egocentrickarmicconditioning program. Then avoided the beating for "being interested" in the gossip (because I was identified) but was caught by figuring out how to do it differently. I'll keep watching. R/L
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Do you realize how much clarity Life is dropping in for you? Read over what you wrote and you’ll see it. Yes, keep watching—you’re in very safe hands! Gassho
Right now I could benefit by what I think are some of the "5" strengths. To observe a bit more, take some private time, be less immediate, more attentive. Gassho. R/L
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How about you practice with what’s on offer, and let Life decide what will benefit you now? Gassho