CLASS 4 FINAL
Pursuit what is absent: fufilled states in some aspects of Life and not others, Job/Intimate relationship, belief there is something wrong. It does stop me from receiving what is - re-direct attention, and slippery - re-direction of what is and feels like it can be avoiding what is. R/L
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We are only ever re-directing attention from the conversation in conditioned mind. The conversation in conditioned mind is NEVER what is. When we re-direct attention from ego to thisherenow, the Intelligence animating “us” has a chance to inform us. Attending to that conversation with ego is what keeps us from being with what is. Gassho
I have spent my whole life learning new skills, thinking the next one will be the thing, it will satisfy. The next thing will make me happy. Ego has bamboozled me long enough. I love to learn. I love life. There is nothing missing. I can relax and Participate R/L
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Well done! This thing NOW is what’s making you happy, right? As we like to say it, “the process is the outcome.” You’re loving what you’re learning right now, and that’s what’s making you happy! Loving Life makes us happy, whatever we’re doing. So much easier, isn’t it? Gassho
I recognize desires to be different rather than ordinary, and “grass is greener elsewhere” process, similar to needing to prove myself to the world to be acceptable. Makes it easy to miss what's here now, the gifts, the joy. Having an experience of sangha/no self/judge not. We're in this together. R/L
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Yep, and realizing we are all “cells in the body of the Buddha” or that “nothing is outside the presence of God” allows us to relax into the Unconditional. That’s where we receive the gifts and feel the joy, isn’t it? Gassho
There is longing for sexual intimacy that I project is possible and available to others, but lacking in my marriage, coupled with story about my lack of desire. It seems to take “too much effort” to communicate needs to partner, and so I settle for platonic relationship and dissatisfaction.
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Hmm…. Sounds like it’s time for a heart-to-heart with the Mentor. Got a recorder? Those conversations with the Mentor will assist you to see just what a bamboozle you’re falling for. “I want X, but making X happen is too much effort, and besides I don’t want it that much so I’ll just not make any effort and blame other people.” Heaven for ego! Gassho
Notice ego saying I am not that type so no need to look at it, making arguments that "ego" is fine how she is. Or that type is like my sister/other person, not me. Then the confusion fog. Ego is a controlling machine. Being HERE is the off switch. R/L
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Yes, indeedy. You know the expression, “confusion is what happens when we look to conditioned mind for clarity?” That’s the one you’re falling for. Looking to conditioned mind for information about who we are and what we need to do is definitely NOT awareness practice, is it? You are so correct: Ego is a controlling machine and being Here is the off switch. Gassho
Currently experiencing four-ness as "missing out on life." Life circumstances have offerred caregiving role and it's good to remember that there's a choice to do the work wholeheartedly with happiness and compassionate heart. From that place, there's no such thing as missing out on anything! R/L
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Exactly! When we’re HERE it’s obvious that “missing out” is not possible. How can we miss out when we are at one with All That Is? Well done! Gassho
"Fours are often melancholic and their longing feels bittersweet. They yearn for a deep connection where they will be met emotionally". Wow, does that hit home! That's exactly what "I" am experiencing right now! So powerful! Stepping back, the Mentor says, "You know the love is right here"!
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What we can learn to “long for” is the wisdom and compassion, the unconditional love, that is “embodied” in the Mentor. Right? If we’re going to long for something, let’s long for presence! Now that’s powerful! Gassho
"Don't think of myself as having four tendencies, although I used to as a younger woman. Now, it's much more subtle; a small disappointment, an occasional bit of longing for what isn't. I think awareness practice has shown me the value of enjoying and appreciating what is before me. R/L
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Yes, awareness practice does show us the value—and just plain good sense—of enjoying and appreciating what’s before us—given that’s all that’s “real.” What we want to continue with our awareness practice, as you point out, is being present enough to see the subtle ways ego is keeping a foot in the door. We want to see it wherever it’s holding on and cut it loose. Gassho
Believing that people won’t understand me and what I’ve been through, believing that I’m special that way, I don’t expect to be understood. I have ample evidence from childhood supporting this belief. If I get stuck in this belief, I miss connections that might be possible. R/L
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Most of us have “ample evidence” from childhood that can be used to “support the beliefs” that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate uses to control a human life. As grownups, we learn to value the wisdom offered by St. Francis and choose to “understand rather than to be understood,” yes? In this way we don’t miss out on the connections Life offers us. Gassho
When identified with "the grass is always greener next door" I'm on an eternal quest for something "better" failing to recognize the green grass below my feet. Upon closer examination, what's revealed is a belief of unworthiness; that I must do something to earn its pleasure. R/L
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That “belief in unworthiness” is one egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is desperate for you to continue an unexamined acceptance of, isn’t it? Too bad. You’re now examining what’s been going on in your life closer, and the crapola is being revealed. It is true, though, isn’t it, that we must “do something” in order to receive the pleasure—we must choose to drop the crapola and be present for the pleasure. We’re okay with that, huh? Gassho
I’ve lived in wistfulness, separation, melancholy, acquisitiveness for as long as I can remember. Get something/one, it’s not enough. “It” lurks beyond the horizon and will appear “tomorrow.” Deep inner joy, peace, connectedness and affection go unheeded. Practice: smile at, breathe what is and flow into consciousness and gratitude.
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Stated another way, you re-direct attention from egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s bogus bull hockey and direct attention to thisherenow. What is thisherenow? It’s what is, it’s Life unfolding, it’s consciousness and gratitude. Very good! Gassho
That "something essential that's missing" is my healthy back. When the back pain is there, it creates not only physical pain, but emotional drama, upset, and despair. When the back pain is gone, like now, conditioning does not celebrate - it just moves onto the next problem. R/L. Gassho
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That is how ego operates. I think you’re saying that ego wants you to believe a healthy back is “something essential that’s missing,” and you’re realizing the story is a scam, true? For most human beings there will be physical pain at some times, perhaps many times, in life, but the emotional drama, upset, and despair are what ego adds, the part that’s not a requirement. As a favorite book title proclaims, Pain Is Inevitable; Suffering Is Optional. Seeing through the hoax, we are freed up to give all attention to breaking the grip ego has on the human being. Gassho
I completely manifest the 4 Romantic type. Always yearning for someone or something, so that I will feel complete. This is exactly what egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate tells me and keeps me in it's grasp. Awareness practice is so wonderfully helpful in getting me to pay attention again and again, and free myself from ego's grip.
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I was just having that conversation with your neighbor! Yes, the story is to keep us in bondage to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, NOT to get us what we yearn for. No ego story will ever deliver what it promises—it can’t. (One process does not lead to another, right?) And, yes, it is an again and again process. Blessedly, being present with Life is joyful! Coming home to the place we love above all else is just not a hardship. Gassho