A situation with my son reveals the six in me when I identify with conditioning. Worry/fear keep me from clarity/presence. The choice to rely on "beliefs" offers an illusion of safety, but it’s the dark room. The Mentor says to trust in unconditional love + the adequacy of everyone. R/L
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Can you see that the Mentor is offering good guidance? You’ve no doubt witnessed others who looked to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate for good guidance and got anything but that. You’re right that worry and fear keep us from the only “safety” available to us—presence in thisherenow. It’s so helpful to realize that the ability to believe in ego’s illusion of safety can only happen in the dark room. Gassho
Read one of Cheri's responses “Then do what you want to do.” Conditioning's panic -”Oh no, you can't do that! Think of all the things that would slip thru the cracks, not get done, bad, results! “. I choose to trust myself and life's guidance moment to moment. Gassho. R/L
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An excellent choice! Life will never lead us astray, and we have to prove that to ourselves. There will be life lessons along the way that the voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate will shriek are mistakes, but we know those are learning experiences and there are no such things as mistakes. Yes? Gassho
Easy to choose ego’s promises of safety over Life, which appears unpredictable, uncontrollable. Of course, ego’s promises are entrapments, not help. Life is what actually is; it includes everyone and everything, all rising together, new each moment. Prediction and control are neither possible nor needed. Life: exciting! Ego: deadening.
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Exactly so. After years of brainwashing, it can feel terrifying to drop the faux safety net ego offers and “go it alone” with Life. (That’s a funny notion, isn’t it?) But a little consideration will make it clear that we have no control. What happens is what happens. Period. There’s no amount of sticking one’s head in the sand or hiding under the covers that will keep what happens from happening. Once we see through the lies, the whole idea of being in control or making oneself safe is recognized as ludicrous. Now we can let go and just enjoy! Gassho
I recognize many of the Skeptic traits: counterphobic, troubleshooter, difficulty letting go of relationships/situations, etc. When I release my futile attempts to “control” and instead focus on a connection with all; a lovingkindness towards all; being present; a sigh of relief blooms through my torso; joy fills my heart.R/L
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There we have it! Keeping up ego’s “efforts” to control and provide safety—all lies and a sham it turns out—take a horrible toll on a human being. Tensed up against Life is exhausting, and I’m pretty sure is what eventually kills most people. Stress is nothing more than being tensed against Life. We’re going for the letting go, relief, and joy, aren’t we? Gassho
Phobic and counter phobic 6. Notice the vigilance, unsettle and anxious, developing a basic trust is tricky, when you are hardwired to be skeptical. Thinking is subversive; however, by allowing the heart to open, the quest for safety dissipates. I nurture the faith that, “all is OK”. R/L
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I hope you’re questioning that notion of “hardwired.” “Hardwired” seems to be the term applied to all those things ego doesn’t want to let go. If I’m “hardwired” that way, it’s not my fault! I can’t help it. That’s just how I’m wired. Hogwash. The proof of that is that you’re already feeling the heart opening, the quest for safety dissipating, and faith growing that “all is ok.” Gassho
I'm a 6, conditioning wants me to focus on the characteristics that have caused me to suffer in the past, like moving toward safety and away from life. Practice helps me explore my need for safety without simply dismissing it as my being a coward. R/L
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I would encourage, as the current Job 1, letting go statements such as “I’m a 6.” No you’re not. Six is what you aren’t. Those 6-ish qualities are, as you’ve noticed, what ego uses to keep you safely with it and away from Life. Ego is a coward and never hesitates to project its qualities on to us! Gassho
I get very scared of taking responsibility. I look to someone else, friend or partner, who's confident, knows what to do and won't get overwhelmed by choices and voices, like I do. People call me calm, but often inside I'm screaming in fear and insecurity about some small, everyday thing. R/L
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You’re offering a crystal clear picture of what it’s like to live inside conditioned mind listening to the voices of self-hate. Ego wants to keep a person “overwhelmed by choices and voices.” You’re actually not afraid of taking responsibility—you never get a chance to do that—you’re afraid of what the voices do to you. There are actually no “solutions” (no “self-improvement” that will help), only ceasing to be in relationship with the voices will free you. Your practice is to drop the conversation in conditioned mind. PERIOD. Can you see that? Gassho
Ego and conditioning at work (pun). Constantly on guard and fearful especially with new supervisors. "I" get lost in fear. See no boundaries to their authority. Me, oppositional yet perfectionist in tasks. Need bigger mentor connection and present moment awareness. Gassho R/L
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And you know how to achieve that “bigger Mentor connection and present moment awareness,” yes? You can see what’s happening, how and why it’s happening, and you know how to rectify it. That’s a lot of good stuff, isn’t it? Gassho
In ripe middle age, I see I've stopped looking at how 6-ness' constant paranoid vigilance keeps me socially "safe". Alternately another part will become quite vulnerable with others to.... I'm not sure what the motivation is. Very interesting! I'll keep looking. R/L
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It is interesting. Might you be gaining some clarity about the duality egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate was hoping you wouldn’t notice? Gassho
I have noticed a lot of #6 characteristics in my sister, mainly her searching for motives in everyone's behavior. Also see much fear in her. Guess that means I have issues with #6 as well...right? R/L
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I suspect you’re suspecting projection, right? I suspect you’re right! This is very helpful, isn’t it? Often people new to an awareness of projection assume that “I’m projecting X so I’ll need to look around in my life to see how I’m like that.” It’s much easier than that actually, though the “looking around in my life” will be a lifelong practice. When we’re projecting, we’re “doing” right then whatever it is we’re projecting. You’re looking for motives in your sister’s behavior and come up with “that’s her 6-ness” as the answer. You go to your experience of fear to identify that fear is what’s operating in her. Is it? We never really know about anyone else; all we can really “know” is what we’re projecting. Our projections give us places to look inside of us for the egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate lurking there, orchestrating our experience just below the level of conscious awareness. Gassho
Wow. Just realized my ex-husband of 25 years must be a 6. Blaming him for his suspiciousness, anxieties, and inability to be spontaneous has kept me from acknowledging those behaviors in myself. Instead of resentment, feeling compassion for both of us; we were BOTH egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s victims.
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Isn’t that good to see? No self-hate allowed, right? We just realize how human beings get manipulated by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate—all of us—and we have compassion for all of us. Now you get to explore that 6-ness in you and wish him well wherever he is, yes? Gassho
Suspicious of others' motives, including those closest to me, keeps me in a state of high alert, watching for any sign of anger or distaste. Hadn't realized how thoroughly this has affected how I live. Have always noticed lack of spontaneity, and now see why. R/L
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Don’t you just love awareness practice! All this stuff is going on; we don’t know why. The voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate are happy to tell us what’s wrong and how it’s all our fault and we don’t know any different. Now we do! Now we can see what’s happening, how it’s happening, and that it’s definitely NOT our fault. This puts us in a position to drop self-hate and just get on with what we choose for our life. Way better, huh? Gassho
I do see how I choose safety over what Life is offering. The fear of the unknown or egocentrickarmicconditioning/self hate stops me from trying new things; therefore, narrowing Life's boundaries. Seems that YES is the new mantra! R/L
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Very good! Yes is the very best of mantras, especially when paired with “thank you.” We can see, when we step back from conditioning, that it’s crazy to attempt to stay safe from Life. It’s gonna get exciting! Gassho
Again I don’t see myself here. I don’t know how to do what you are asking, ”look deeper”. It helps that I am talking with two people who have experience with your work, which why I am here. But I am still confused, frustrated and almost ready to quit.
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“Look deeper” is another way of saying “pay attention.” For example: When my daughter was little, maybe 7 or 8, I noticed she had this kind of snotty, slightly sarcastic way of speaking. I couldn’t figure out where that was coming from. She’s a little kid, for heaven’s sake. That’s no way for a little kid to be! Now, if we fast-forward to what you’re asking, I would say that I “held that confusion, questioning, not understanding, as a koan, a spiritual puzzle I wasn’t going to ‘figure out’ in conditioned mind but that would ‘appear’ suddenly in a flash of insight.” I didn’t then, of course, because I had no idea how any of this works. Back to then: I was talking with a friend and suddenly “heard” myself. I sounded exactly the way she sounded! Where did she learn to talk that way? From listening to her mother! Suddenly, the whole world opened up, it was all crystal clear. I got it. THAT is how awareness works. We can’t think about it or figure it out. We won’t find anything new inside our head. We learn to pay attention, be present, see conditioned beliefs, assumptions, and thinking for what they are, and suddenly, in one of those “flashes of intuition” we get it. People often call these “ah ha” moments. You’ve had plenty I’m betting. So “look deeper” means “don’t settle for what the voices in your head are telling you. They lie. Keep looking.”
PS Reading what some of the other folks in the class are working with can also be illuminating. Gassho
Six rules my marriage. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate has used my distrust of men to caused so much suffering. I choose to listen to the voices, and the story becomes "true." Considering the opposite may be true. R/L
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Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that none of it may be true. In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that none of it is true. In awareness practice we’re choosing to be aware, which means we’re present for the Intelligence animating us to guide and inform us. Looking to conditioned mind to see if the opposite of what it’s been presenting as true is what’s really true is like looking to conditioned mind to figure out if you’d rather be shot or stabbed. Neither is a good choice! Gassho
Conditioning wants to me believe that at my age, it’s all downhill from here and I should be worried about everything, especially falling again. The Mentor lovingly reminds me not to sacrifice a second of this beautiful now for any ”might be” later. R/L Gassho
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Excellent. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate has been running some similar scam on you for as far back as you can remember, true? There’s no reason now can’t be the most glorious time of your life. Now is always the most glorious time of life, and when we have way fewer years ahead than behind, we can be far more motivated to treasure all the NOWs we can get! Gassho
Feeling groundless all of my life. Goal: Impossible to relax, alert and vigilant. Exhausting. I don’t trust anyone, because I don’t trust “me”. Now, with practice, I realize that the one I don’t trust is EKC. Trying to develop trust in my innate intelligence
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Almost! You’re so very close here. You’re absolutely correct that what we don’t trust—and shouldn’t!—is egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. For that reason we want to drop it as quickly and thoroughly as possible. What we don’t want to develop trust in is “my” innate intelligence. Because there’s no such thing. If we’re looking inside for something that is “the authentic me,” we’re going to wind up right back in ego’s clutches. We’re learning to drop all that in order to “identify with” that which animates us. There’s nothing personal in it; it’s what’s there when there’s no “me.” (Do you have an R/L practice? It’s the fast track to the Intelligence you’re seeking.) Gassho
Egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate tells me all day: "You're not working enough." Core belief: Hard work will keep me safe. Mentor says, "You work a lot, sweetheart. Focus on courage, service, sharing, and creativity - not 'work' - and you'll get where you need to be." R/L
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What is not to love about the Mentor? Nothing! Great wisdom, brilliant guidance, and all delivered with lovingkindness and compassion. Yep, do that! Gassho
Can see how lacking self-confidence has caused questioning of safety and fear of not being able to handle threatening situations. Looking closely at how I recently got talked into trusting another’s authority over intuition and then took a heavy beating for the ultimate outcome. Bamboozled at both ends! R/L
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That was an important, albeit painful, learning experience, true? You know you lack confidence because you’re listening to the voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. That’s huge right there. You recognize intuition. You see what happens when you don’t listen to the “still small voice” guiding you. All critical aspects, right? What must be dropped immediately are the beatings. The only way we get to see what’s going on is to participate. We participate, we see what we see, learn what we learn, become more aware, trust Life more—and no beatings allowed ever! Okay? Gassho
I share Sixes' anxiety. I used to believe that imagining worst case scenarios would prevent them from happening. Now I'm anxious when I go somewhere without my cell phone to connect me to help. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self hate says I'm a wuss for wanting it; at risk without it. Can't win!
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Oh, not so a bit! You are winning. You’re seeing what that nasty system is doing to you. That’s winning big. The voices frighten you with scary stories, and then beat you up for being afraid. All right. They’ve had their day. What you’re practicing now is not listening to them. Definitely not a wuss activity! Gassho
‘I’ chooses ego’s promises of safety when Life offers new opportunity to grow, ‘I’ doesn’t ‘want’ it and chooses safety. Worrying about what could go wrong takes me away from the beauty of what is and causes me to believe that life is hard. Good to see, not believing it! R/L
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Well done! That’s the whole deal. Ego wants us to choose it instead of Life, to stay small and frightened and isolated. We choose to be HERE, with Life, in the beauty of what is. That’s it! Gassho
As a counter-phobic six with a mistrust of authority “I” am skilled at isolation. Before practice I thought everyone walked around with a pit of anxiety in the solar plexus. I’ve been known to stay in relationships long past the expiration date, due to a distorted sense of loyalty. R/L
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And now you’ve seen that being isolated with the authoritarian monster that is egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is just not what you want to do. Very good. It’s time for us to give all loyalty to Life. Gassho
1) In some situations, feel inadequate/want to depend on others. 2) Common driver of unconscious activity, if put in words: "bad things are going to happen." 3) Sometimes paralyzed by fear of making "bad"/"wrong" decision. // Seeing that human/Life are adequate. Feared events never actually happen. R/L
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Isn’t that good to see??? Once we see it it’s so obvious the voices want to beat us up for not having seen it sooner! Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s gloom and doom machine predicts disaster at every turn, and those “bad things” almost never happen. Day after day passes with minor inconveniences, and ego paints life as a war zone it’s a miracle we’re surviving. So much more “good stuff’ happens to us every day—yes, voices going off in your “well what about those people…” directions, all of us—that it’s amazing we can ever say anything other than “thank you.” Thank you for that! Gassho
I am having the best day. There are so many places of worry that conditioning could take me off to...if I give it my attention for a split second.. I choose to hear the sound of the rain and the feel of my fingers tapping these keys! Gassho R/L
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And you can do that! And we all can do that! As I was just saying to your neighbor, we can all of us choose the life we want in each moment. We have another, “Thank you for that!” Gassho
Could absolutely relate to the 6 loyalty to the end even if time to move on. This is seems quite unkind to the folks I attach myself to and leaves no room for more Life infusing contacts. Time to let go relationship with egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate, and be with Mentor! R/L
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Oh, that’s fabulous! You’re ending an unhappy, unsatisfying relationship with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate and beginning a new, exciting, fulfilling relationship with Mentor. There’s something else we all can do. I’m loving this theme! Gassho
I see the pattern of holding on to the 'safe' job, people, house to avoid scary feelings that arise when future thinking of the unknown. In the safety of Presence, this practitioner could trust Life and let go of her tight grip of the shore. R/L
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That’s a really helpful point: The safety of Presence obviates the intrusion of “future thinking.” We’re not talking about letting conditioned mind think about the future and scare us to death with every hideous thing that could happen. We’re HERE. We’re present and in Presence all is unfolded safely. Gassho
"Failure of self-confidence" is what most resonates. Sometimes I get a feeling of freedom and possibility that anything is possible not only in life, but in MY life, only to have it washed away and reinforced by self-doubt and inertia. I realize it all happens in a conversation. R/L Gassho.
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Excellent! You’re realizing that all that’s creating for you a life you don’t want is happening in a conversation in conditioned mind. That’s great, isn’t it? Now you realize it’s not a matter of “what should I do,” but a matter of “this is what I need NOT to do.” Drop the conversation and all the problems disappear. That’s always the case in practice, by the way. Freedom is never about “doing.” Freedom is always found in NOT doing. Gassho
Turning to conditioned mind to explain the sense of threat is a familiar closed loop: conditioned mind IS the threat! Effort: Turning attention away from the “something wrong” story toward thisherenow. Effortless: letting go and trusting Life to guide present moment process of transformation. Gassho R/L
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Well, there we have it! Turning to the source of the threat for a way out of the threat is just never going to work—except for ego! Re-directing attention to thisherenow, which, as you point out, is effortless, gives us everything we want. So simple once we see it. It’s getting to the point of being able to see it that causes us to at first give up, then to let go, to turn to Life, to find humility, to learn the value of gratitude, kindness, and generosity--and so much more along the way. Once we see it we wouldn’t have it any other way! Gassho
Worrying about and preparing for the future while waiting for that other shoe to drop are familiar processes for me in many content areas: money, children, health. This tendency truly robs me of the present moment, and the experience and enjoyment of Life. Recorder/mentor to the rescue! R/L.
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And they will always rescue, won’t they? Always. Will never let us down, will never abandon us, never get tired of us, never judge us…. Have we stumbled on a dream come true or what? Gassho
Six karma here. Reading this was a punch to the gut; there was defensiveness. It read dark and sad. The voice defends, "You'd be cynical too, having lived my life." Seeing how hard it is (for ego) to cut ties with this personality that (ego's) cultivated. 'Feels' like a loss.
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Only to ego! Only to ego is letting go of ego a loss. Those are not happy, cheerful, fun, lively, and adventuresome qualities you’d be letting go, are they? If we can agree there’s nothing wrong with you and never has been, there’s nothing missing in you, nothing that needs to be fixed or changed, and all you’re going to do is let go an orientation that makes you suspicious, frightened, anxious, and cynical—where’s the loss in that? What’s helpful about the experience you describe is the opportunity to “get” what it feels like to be identified with ego. Back at center there’s a party going on! Gassho
Egocentrickarmiconditioning/self-hate always ready with an “oh no”. A focus on what “could’ go wrong doesn’t allow me to appreciate all the support (that seems divine) offered when I am present to it. Voices say that’s new-age spiritual babble. I say good thing I can drop the skepticism and get Here. Dominant Type 6, R/L
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Oh, that four thousand plus year old “new-age.” Such silliness to focus on lovingkindness, appreciation, gratitude, possibility, fun, and adventure when we could stay home and focus on everything that’s wrong and missing. A voice that would prefer we go with “Oh, no” and “what could go wrong” rather than divine support is really not a perspective we want to give credence to, is it? Gassho
Noticing certain content brings on the worrying and imaginings of what can go wrong. While it doesn't show up often, there seems to be a part lacking self-confidence. Seeing this provides greater empathy/understanding for this being and those who live from this conditioned place most of the time. R/L
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You make two important points: 1) suffering doesn’t need to be wretched for us to want to extricate ourselves from it, and 2) seeing how we’re made to suffer over unexamined identification with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate gives us empathy and compassion for others caught in the same identification. In these ways our practice deepens. Gassho
I am in my head instead of packing for vacation. Seeking validation outside of myself caused her to get triggered and lash out. I reel and withdraw to practice. "I don't know what's right." Mentor knows! "Just breathe, be present." R/L
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Breathe and be present is the perfect plan for all occasions, isn’t it? I’m not sure this is what you’re saying, but to consider: The only thing that “causes” getting triggered and lashing out is egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Know what I mean? We do want to take responsibility for our actions and behaviors, but that’s not the same as taking blame for the actions and behaviors of others. Gassho
I have a lot of fear in my body that feels deep and I overreact to all kinds of stimuli. Mentally, I try to defend against possible threats by taking control when I can. I do hold onto people who seem safe. Trust is foreign to me.
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That’s a lot of be aware of! Now you get to see through all that, and more, as awareness expands and egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate loses its grip. Two places to explore: 1) When you’re “overreacting to stimuli,” turn attention away from the story in the head and turn attention to the sensations in the body. Those sensations, which have been mislabeled and given all sorts of meaning, are the only things “causing” the reactions. Stimuli happens. That stimuli means you need to look to conditioned mind. Looking to conditioned mind, the stories start and the sensations—that likely got triggered at the mere mention or sight of said stimuli—get revved up. Now it’s a loop. Story/sensations/story/sensations. Next story is about what you need to do to “control” the situation. Story/sensations/story/sensations. Alternative? Take all attention away from story/sensation and turn attention to the breath. Feel the breath moving in the body. Stay with it. All attention on breathing. Ego will try to get you to look back to conditioned mind to “see how you’re doing/see if it’s working.” DON’T DO THAT! The answer you’ll get is “no, it’s not working,” and the anxiety will begin to rev. Play with it. It likely won’t all turn around by next week, but maybe the week after! Depends on how much you practice. 2) Trust will happen as you gain success with 1. Gassho
Yesterday, I approached the scary wooden bridge on my bike saying "there's no need to be afraid". Next, my tire wedged between the slats and I fell! Later, the awareness that my attempt to manage my fear had drawn me out of thisherenow. It was then my balance was lost. R/L
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Great catch! The voices of course wanted you to believe that bridge was the problem, and if you’d listened to them and not tried to cross it none of this awfulness would have happened. HA! They lie and you were there to see it. Gassho
Worry cripples me. I worry about the people I love and that something terrible is going to happen to them. I sometimes expect the worse and try to plan to prevent the worst. It's a debilitating way to live. I just keep recording and redirecting attention. Gassho R/L
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It’s a horrible way to live, and it doesn’t accomplish anything good, does it? Here’s my question: How much are you re-directing attention if you’re still making the statement “worry cripples me”? Perhaps you’ve heard this from me before, AND it’s worth repeating: We cannot live in egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate for 23 hours and 50 minutes out of the day and hope that ten minutes of redirecting attention and R/Ling is going to make the difference. Make those numbers whatever we want and the principle applies. If you’re awake for 16 hours out of each 24, and you’re worrying for 6 of those, you need to be R/Ling for at least those six hours, PLUS get the ear buds in so you’re listing all night as you sleep. This is your one and only life. Please choose it. Gassho
6. Wow! I love seeing that clinging to beliefs is just clinging to the external - social justice, what's right- I need these, or do I? R/L
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It’s good to see a question mark there. We’re not attempting to go from one side of an ego-maintaining duality to the other. We don’t want to cling to beliefs—period. We’re not trading in those old beliefs for new and improved beliefs. “Social justice is just a belief and I don’t want to cling to externals, so…” Awareness practice is never about the content/the “whats.” With me? Not looking to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate to know what’s “right” doesn’t mean we don’t look to Life as our moral compass. Gassho
Surprised to strongly identify with 6's "believe they do not possess the internal resources to handle life's challenges and vagaries alone". Fear of not being adequate to my experience has been big for me. Practice is giving me the experience that I am. Gassho R/L
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We believe those beliefs because the voices in conditioned mind are constantly telling us those things. It’s for that reason there’s such a focus in practice on dropping the conversation. We could go about addressing the fears and sense of inadequacy for a lifetime. OR we could just drop the conversation in the head that’s creating and maintaining those fears and beliefs. Easy AND efficient! Gassho
Loyalty & trust feel important; I don't easily move on. The world doesn't seem inherently dangerous or safe. My best experiences/preparation lack preoccupation with worst cases. My fantasies tend to be planning/noodling how great "it"/future will be, which still robs present moment presence. Love practicing dropping ego's stories! Gassho/R/L.
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That’s so important! Once we realize that the BEST ego fantasy is PATHETIC when compared to presence in thisherenow, our willingness to drop ego goes through the roof. Gassho
Following earlier guidance, paying close attention, this class points to what I cannot see. Every day scanning round looking for crises that need to be averted. There is now some distance from the story of being anxious and worried all the time. It’s not because of the content. R/L Gassho
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Exactly! Worry/anxiety is a process. People are not worried and anxious because there’s something to be worried and anxious about. People are worried and anxious because they’re trained to be worried and anxious. That process is created and maintained by stories in conditioned mind designed to set off the body in ways that will make the worry and anxiety appear real and valid. Add to that the “you need to worry so you can prevent bad things from happening” and the cruelty is complete. Gassho
Definitely feel pull into 6 worry process but don't go there so much any more, thanks to Practice. Ready to take risks, have adventures, blossom (rather than remain tight in the bud). Risk commitment today: Share Unconditional Love with at least 2 people. R/L
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Hmm… That’s very fun. You’re using the life force that used to go into worry to bring you into Unconditionally Loving presence with at least two people each day. Two today, three tomorrow, who can say where this will go! Gassho