My inner Six brings me a near constant stream of "what if" catastrophes, and ego says "rehearse for them so you can survive them". I used to spend hours thinking through scenarios. In the past few years have learned to say "thinking" and let go before provoking a body reaction.
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This is a form of “redirecting attention.” Add something you choose to redirect attention to and you have a full program. Gassho
Seeing the nuance of egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate with other people at work. Some people I can be “safe” around and fully authentic. Others I need to “be careful”, “hold back” and not make mistakes. Ego feeds stories of worry before engaging with new people.
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Good to see. One element you might bring more awareness to is the assumption that when ego “feels safe,” “you” are being “authentic.” A lot of ego can hide behind ego’s version of authentic. If that’s not clear, call Open Air and talk with me about it, please. Gassho
Egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate takes me out of the present moment with a belief in fear of not being able to handle life. She is a victim with no one to protect her from bullies. So allies are necessary for protection. Energy drain on myself and them. Giving much love to unprotected child. R/L
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That first sentence is spot on and important for everyone to get. Scary stories about “what’s going to happen” and how “you won’t be able to stand it” are standard strategy for ego’s “get attention” program. Here’s the important thing to get at this juncture: There’s no such thing as an “unprotected” child that needs. Anything! As soon as “you” are coming from conscious, compassionate awareness—presence in thisherenow—every aspect of every part of “you” is embraced and cared for. There’s nothing and no one left out of thisherenow. Giving attention to a “child” guarantees the stories from egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate can continue to pull you out of the present. See what I mean? Gassho
I have spent my life building "security" and yet have had very few moments of peace/feeling safe. This enneagram type clearly shows me the depth of suffering egocentric karmic conditioning generates. Feel panic at the thought of living outside this construct. Gee, shoud I belive that being free is a bad thing?
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What you’re getting to see is what it feels like, and what the world looks like, when you’re identified with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. You’ve realized ego’s plan for safety hasn’t produced what it promised. You’ve seen the depth of suffering that plan has produced. What, other than ego, would feel panic at you dropping ego and would wonder if being free of ego is a bad thing? Gassho
I'm a six! Analysis paralysis, stayed married longer than was healthy for anyone, gifted at troubleshooting, occasionally get teased for being “Mr. Safety Pants!” Imagining what can go wrong: the process is the outcome! Have always wanted someone's approval, and wondered when I was no longer going to need it. R/L
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Are you saying you’re getting a clue? Here’s a First Suggestion: Drop the identity. You are NOT a six. Enneatypes are ego descriptions showing us clearly what is NOT the Authentic Nature of All That Is. Time to stop giving attention to that story and begin attending in earnest to Life. It’s an excellent way to begin getting the approval of the only person whose approval matters to us. Gassho
I love working with my 6 qualities. When they launch, it gives me a chance to practice “the world is friendly” and “assume friendliness” and “everything is here for my awakening.” Also I can practice releasing the objects of my “loyalty” of their “obligations” to me. Gassho R/L
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A much happier way to live, yes? Gassho
Belief: Self confidence means believing in/ relying on me to get me through, which seems to be a fall-back for me. History of analysis paralysis, hanging onto partners, jobs, belongings too long source of significant suffering - woven into complex conditions network (structures) - money most significant (manipulation/ controlling me). R/L
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Sounds as if you are more than ready to let go those very unhelpful (lying) beliefs. True? Relying on “me” (ego) is about the scariest position a person can be in. Good to see that R/L signaling you have an excellent support team either in place or being assembled. Gassho
Hypervigilance equals watching others to see what they are doing, so I can be sure it’s the right thing, to protect myself from some future situation where whatever they have done (wrong) causes me to have to take time to do something to remedy that error, a convoluted illogical framework! R/L
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And an all-around bad deal? It’s comical, isn’t it, when we get enough distance to see it for what it is, but it’s not funny a bit when we’re identified with it and letting it make us miserable! Now is a perfect time to explore a friendlier, happier framework. Gassho
In many ways my conditioning is a 6. Scanning for danger, trying to assemble a worldview that defends me from subtle underlying vibration of fear. Aware of mostly phobic forces, but some counterphobic as well. I think Ego/Counterphobia influenced my response to class 3 and 5! Grateful to see!
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Practicing awareness is simply the best, is it not? Life is so very interesting and egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is so very boring. And we get to choose which one we want to attend to. Can’t get a better deal than that! Gassho
I do not feel tightly wound to this type so further watching may be required to reveal it from behind egos "perfect" curtain. I can recall having a fear for something bad to happen after a string of fortunate events. So interesting this class has been!
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As we were just discussing with your neighbor, Life is interesting; ego is boring. It’s true, isn’t it? Ego wants (desperately) for us to stay in a little, tiny, boring, faux world of “I, me, mine” when we can zoom around through universes with Life. Not a big decision to have to make, is it? The only difficulty is that ego (desperately) is fighting for its stranglehold on us—in each split second. Yes, our “work” is cut out for us, AND our motivation/reward makes our efforts most assuredly worthwhile! Gassho
These qualities resonate: distrust with authority, often thinking over acting, and staying too long in a job/relationship. The distrust with authority is most prominent. As I get older, it has increased based on my life experience. So called bosses/leaders have often revealed incompetence, if not outright immorality.
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Here is a job for PROJECTION! Conditioned human beings have only one “authority,” and that’s the one securely ensconced inside their head. Ego is the authority. The voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate are calling all the shots, and the human believes “that’s me” doing the thinking. It isn’t. It’s a “program” we’ve identified with and now think is who we are. People will often say to me with an “I’m such a rebel” smirk that “I have authority issues,” which is meant to signal me that “you’re not dealing with your usual easily scammed fool.” I attempt gently to point out that they have trouble with so-called “external” authorities because they are completely in thrall to an authority inside their head. Who knows where that goes? Most likely, the authority in the head gives a rebuttal designed to write off such a stupid remark, and, as we were saying earlier, the beat goes on. That said, working with projection will be illuminating should you choose to pursue it. A Recording and Listening practice would also enlighten. Gassho
I have strong counter phobic behaviors to"prove" self worth and to fight overwhelming fear of everything. Mostly being hurt. Always working with condition mind- trust no one. EXHAUSTING and lonely misadventures.
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Yes, indeed. I’m guessing, since you’re seeing that so clearly and you’re doing a class offered by an awareness practice, that you’re taking steps to turn all of that around. Do you have a Recording and Listening practice? It’s the very best thing we’ve found to combat exactly those issues you’re addressing. Gassho
Loyalty/fear/worry. All of those are traits that occur commonly. When the habit of "concern" and the "armor of safety" attempt takeover, thankfully Life is here to really show the way. This is where R/L is essential, and this ongoing practice of turning attention to what is so. Gassho
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That’s very clear. Thank you. Yes, those takeovers by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate are going to happen. They are. Perhaps at some point they won’t, but we’re not going to anticipate that day. We’re going to be paying attention to see what’s arising in this moment and using the practice tools we have that enable us to choose Life. Very helpful. Gassho
The move to look outside for guidance is quite familiar: abandoning adequacy and seeking for answers out there. Egocentrickarmiccondition/self-hate constantly scanning. Experience says, going outside to inform is great, and jumping into Life to check it out is both what works and brings energy and joy. R/L Gassho
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You’re making an important point: There’s “looking outside,” which is looking to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, AND there’s a “looking inside,” that is also looking to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. When people talk about “being my own teacher” or “looking to myself for clarity,” it’s a Yikes moment. We’re not looking to “ourselves” for guidance; we’re looking to Life. How can we tell whether what we’re following is ego or Life? We jump into Life and see what happens! We can tell we’re “with Life” when the energy is flowing and we’re feeling joyful and grateful. Gassho
Egocentrickarmicconditioning won't let me see the six in me, but it must be there, because I/ego hates sixes! I/ego can't stand antivax people or conspiracy theorists. Every time ego hears "the government is hiding something" my blood pressure rises. Total ego trip. Where do I look? R/L
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Where do you look other than where you’re looking? Something other than the rising blood pressure to tell you people like that scare you? I mean, what if people really believe these nutters? What’s going to happen if they get the upper hand? Look at the places where that’s already happened! (Yes?) Gassho
Let go of worrying and overplanning in so many areas. Practice surrendering to Life. Noticed that when it comes to this fragile human body there is still strong default story about paying close attention to symptoms or sensations to stay safe. Able to drop story find trust. R/L Gassho
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An increasing number of people have been talking to me lately about their awareness that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate seems to be able to make physical symptoms appear. Getting ready to go on a retreat and suddenly there’s a scratchy throat or a sensitivity to that touchy back that feels as if it’s going to go out or getting an upset stomach every time I have to do something I don’t want to do. For a long time it seems as if “that’s just true,” as in “that’s just how I am,” but after paying close attention it begins to dawn that maybe the story isn’t a result of the condition but is the cause of the condition. That kind of “need to pay close attention to symptoms and sensations to stay safe” story can get egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate big doses of the attention it craves. I know you know what I mean. Gassho
The central issue of Type Six: “They do not believe they possess the internal resources to handle life’s challenges”, lead me to practice and has been slowly revealed over many years of practice. The fear, doubt, and distrust of this enneatype has been a major challenge to going beyond. R/L
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And we could say it has been “a major support in finding the strength and willingness to wake up and end suffering,” couldn’t we? Those “challenges” that require us to go beyond them might just be our greatest allies. Gassho
Hypervigilant most of my life. Idea I could know/predict what could go wrong seems comical when written down. Helpful to see lack of faith behind it; also illusion of being in charge. More often ego is drawing me toward things that will be frustrating/disappointing.
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Isn’t that great to see! All this “stuff” that causes us so much suffering is revealed as what it truly is rather than what we’ve been conditioned to believe it is. Now we have a chance! And, most important of all, we have a choice. Awareness practice will take us where we want to go. Get a Recording and Listening practice going, please. Gassho
Conditioning has me jump into a romantic partnership and become overly loyal. It's "you and me against the world." After the relationship becomes sufficiently absurd I wake up from the trance, break-up and begin to reclaim self esteem. Then conditioning says something is wrong with me because I'm single. R/L
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And, as the very old song proclaims, the beat goes on. It doesn’t sound as if you have any doubt about how this is happening, true? Stop listening to and believing the voices that say there’s something wrong with you because you’re single, and voila! Gassho
I'm often suspicious of people's motivations, especially in interactions involving money. It's impossible to be unconditional love whilst judging the person in front of me and sizing up their motivations! While I'm busy noodling, I'm missing the depth of the interaction. Gassho R/L
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Yep. Now, a simpler, more straightforward way of saying that is that you cannot simultaneously choose egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate and Unconditional Love. You can’t be in the dark room and the Light Room at the same time. We gotta choose. Which do you want more, ego’s energy-sucking suspicions or Life’s wisdom? Gassho
Noticing how the type 6 worrying keeps me from seeing the adequacy of this person, other people involved and the moment. All that energy for ego! Can use Awareness to drop worry and direct attention back to the adequacy and perfection of thisherenow. Gassho R/L
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Yes. As I was just saying to your neighbor, the choice is clear. We either give all the energy to ego—which means we get none for us—or we give all the energy to Life—which means we get all for us. The difficulty, of course, is learning to discern which is ego and which is authenticity. THAT is why we do awareness practice! Gassho
Someone is going to decide something important without getting my input. Conditioning gets obsessed with presenting all negative outcomes, stoking fear I won’t be prepared. It insists the only/best way to prepare is to keep obsessing! It’s clear the only thing being prepared is Life Force for ego snacking. R/L
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You need one of our Worry Is Not Preparation t-shirts! Yes, you’ve seen clearly the bamboozle. Worry, obsess, then do more worrying and obsessing because that’s what feeds egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Has nothing to do with being prepared or controlling outcomes. Has only to do with ego getting fed. Time to cut it off! Gassho