I see how I try to avoid negative emotions by planning/keeping busy. I also see how that results in anxiety/depression when I don't allow myself to feel. When I practiced R/L or meditation when the negative emotions arose, they passed through and often led to greater connection, too. R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That’s the “secret” to practicing awareness—we realize it’s the way to end the suffering and have the life we’ve always known is possible. How do we know we’ve always known what’s possible? We were always dissatisfied with the life we had. We learned early on to trade authenticity for calculating what will let “me” survive. When we become aware that our ego survival strategies are killing us, we begin to “remember” what we left to follow ego’s hollow promises. Life is right here to assist us in our homecoming. Gassho
Ah, yes, a tendency to imagine the bright future would take focus off the rich present. Yes, compulsively pursuing pleasure and avoiding (anyone’s) pain would stand in the way of compassion. Yes, yes, yes. Finally seeing ego’s tendencies in the light of Life rather than ego’s propaganda.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That “new view” is very helpful, isn’t it? When we get it that no matter how cheery the tale ego is telling, it’s still a tale, we start to wonder what we’re missing. If we are fortunate enough to get even a glimpse of how rich the present is, well, we know which option we’re going to choose. Gassho
Same pattern as recent assignments: attention goes to someone else and how they embody enneatype, then to how I used to embody the enneatype. As I keep watching over days, I see how egocentrikarmicconditioning/selfhate uses the framework in the moment. For 7: finding the perfect “treats” for my “rest” periods. R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
THAT IS A HUGE INSIGHT! The ego strategy you describe is being used to fool folks all the time. The longer people have been “practicing,” the more vulnerable we are. “Oh, yes, X is really like that and, sure, I used to be.” We can see and hear those hands whoosh past one another as they brush off the whole danger of seeing what’s true NOW. I’m actually projecting on X and I’m actually “doing” that behavior right now as I’m projecting! Truly powerful insight, which I hope we all take very much to heart. Gassho
When my illusion of having control (over that which I don’t) fails I indulge in distraction; part of my family with grandchildren moves away and I am bereaved. Instead of grieving, I purchase a large piece of property that needs a lot of attention. Results in anxiety, lack of presence/ feelings. R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I hope realizing the presence that brings such clarity removes the anxiety. You’re seeing it. That’s the giant step toward letting go ego’s control over us. You’re right that control is a big part of this—it’s how ego controls a human being. Seeing that, we can move in a different direction—HERE. You may keep the property or not; you may decide it has served its purpose and let it go, or you may keep it and give attention to participation with it because you choose to. It has already served you well as a workshop in expanding awareness. Gassho
Noticing that being in the seven space feels like fun until I pause and feel the sensations and hear the stories driving the chaotic movement. What a bamboozle! Fun is being right here now. R/L Gassho
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Yep. Presence is waaaaaaaay more fun than being dragged around by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. What a blessing to have a practice that enables us to pause, huh? Gassho
This anti-Seven's ego-driven process is to favor safe/understimulating over risky/ overstimulating. The perceived costs (energy, stress) of planning and participating in big experiences far outweigh the benefits. Ego sets human up by castigating in the moment: Quick! Experience this! such that I'm 'in my head' and miss it completely.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Well stated. We’re not going for one side to the other side of the duality, are we? The choice is not between safe/understimulating and risky/overstimulating. The choice we have is to be HERE, present in thisherenow. Out of the head and into the moment is the movement we’re seeking. Gassho
“Afraid of negative states of mind” really resonates. Over and over, ego pushes overeating, drinking, TV, etc. as coping mechanisms, then beats me for “indulging in distractions.” Aha! The REAL indulgence is listening to ego’s endless nattering about my life! THAT distracts me from Life itself! R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s nothing to do with what you wrote except: “Afraid of negative states of mind” really resonates. Over and over, ego pushes overeating, drinking, TV, etc. as coping mechanisms, then beats me for “indulging in distractions.” Aha! The REAL indulgence is listening to ego’s endless nattering about my life! THAT distracts me from Life itself! R/L
Gassho
It's fun to look at art. Ego is reluctant to let human make art. Ego is afraid to commit because it might be too much work, mess, etc. Mentor says, "Things don't always have to be easy and fun to have a great experience." R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wise Mentor. Good to keep in mind that the only point ever for egocentric karmic conditioning/ self-hate is get attention. You like art? Well then a push/pull between “want to” and “can’t” will net a fine amount of attention/suffering. If you happen to wonder why you shouldn’t be allowed to do something you want to do, there’s a ready “reason.” It might be too much work or too much mess. Is that what’s really going on? Of course not. Human will suffer in the process, and suffering gets a lot of attention for ego. Going with Wise Mentor, yes? Gassho
Seeing how pursuing sensational excitement robs me of what is available in the present moment. Like planning how to get my next big adrenaline rush instead of pausing to appreciate the woodpecker outside my window. Also, not showing up for the human and facing down the negativity together. R/L Gassho
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s the real point, isn’t it? When we follow egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s latest excitement extravaganza designed to avoid the ultimate boredom for ego—the present—we are choosing to abandon the human being. We give up the life that is possible for us, and we give that life to ego to squander and pollute. Facing down the negativity both rids us of a bullying ego and gives the human being a full and happy life. Gassho
"That wasn't funny." Uh-oh. Thank goodness the Mentor picked up on that process quickly. Noticing the process of depressing humor, depressing joy, seems to pull me away from Life. Life is funny inclusively (me too!). EgocentricKarmicConditioning/Self-Hate says "that wasn't funny"? Hooray! An awesome JOY workshop! R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Great catch. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate (no capitals needed as capital letters are meant to denote items of importance and ego is certainly not that) has absolutely NO sense of humor. None. You may have noticed that egos cannot abide being laughed at. It really is the very best approach when vanquishing a bullying ego—just make fun of it. You’re right, Life is funny and Life has a great sense of humor. Real humor. Not “reality television” cruelty given the name of humor. Real we’re-all-in-this-together joy of innocence in form. Gassho
Saw no connection to Sevens until I realized that my family always pooh-poohed any plan or activity that seemed silly or risky. I felt lucky to have married someone (a Five) who kept me "from going off on a tangent." Egocentric karmic conditioning/self hate exposed--spongy, enthusiasm, energy rediscovered.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Now you’re going to enjoy Life’s enthusiasm from center, yes? I ask that because ego wants us always to swing from one side of the pendulum of duality to the other. “I’ve been kept from going off on a tangent, and now I am tangent bound!” Do you have a Recording and Listening practice? It might be a perfect time to develop one and have the Mentor as your guide through the landmines egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate puts in our path. Gassho
My 7 process. Anxiety goes direct to planning in external world to fatigue to self hate. Noticing the trigger of anxiety to overplan and doing more park walks with the Mentor. I want to move thru or reframe the "anxiety" label and see what the offering is. Gassho! R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Very good. We can certainly learn to see the life force egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate labels and turns into anxiety as excitement, enthusiasm, passion, and wholeheartedness. Life force, when not being siphoned off by ego, is huge. We can sense how much of it there is by the level of anxiety we feel when it falls into ego’s grip. Released and allowed to flow, it moves right on past enthusiasm and wholeheartedness in to Bliss and Joy. More of those park walks with Mentor? Yes, please! Gassho
Nothing worse than being identified with “egocentric-karmic conditioning self-hate” in a fearful, shameful place. Total agony. Egocentric-karmic conditioning self-hate tortures me, and then promises, “if you want to avoid feeling like this in the future; you have to become a 7” addictive distraction, which leads to more pain. A serious addictive vicious-cycle with an abuser
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Get thee to the Mentor! I PROMISE YOU that developing a Recording and Listening practice with the Mentor will be the cure you’re seeking for that addiction. That ego system truly is an addictive vicious-cycle with an abuser, and what you need is an advocate and rehab! Recording and Listening is rehab that’s cheap, easy, and ever-present. You’re ready! Gassho
Enthusiastic for “ego appropriate” avoidance: exercise a lot, read good books, stay informed, watch “quality TV.” Not inherently bad activities, but sometimes the motivation is a strategy to externalize. Practice first; sit, breath, mantra, R/L; responding to life from conscious compassionate awareness is blissful.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You make a powerful point. Not everything that takes us away from ourselves, away from Life, is a horrible, disgusting addiction. We can get seduced by harmless, benign, even “worthy” pursuits. Again, it’s not what, it’s how. Distraction from presence is distraction from presence, regardless of the “quality” of the distraction. Gassho