Having had experiences of depression in the past, I feel fear when or avoid having nothing fun planned. It's something I've noticed gradually and learned to be okay to do nothing. That depression won't swallow me up when I'm not busy or excited about something.
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You’re describing a classic egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate bamboozle. Talk a person into depression, make a person afraid of depression, promise a way to avoid depression, and then control a person’s every behavior via holding the threat of depression over a person’s head. Those are not our only choices! We don’t need to let egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate hold the #1 position in our lives. Have you read our Depression Book? If you have, you will know I have serious experience with depression, AND I will promise you a Recording and Listening practice is the way out. Do that practice and you will never fear depression again. Gassho
Avoiding what’s painful shows up as ignoring “uncomfortable” body sensations by staying in motion. Ignoring takes me into my head, creates hardness toward myself and in my body. Hardness is projected outward. It’s impossible to see other’s suffering when avoiding my own. Just pausing with that awareness softens the hardness. R/L
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It’s an aaahhh moment, isn’t it, that “being with.” We cannot feel compassion or lovingkindness for others if we’re braced against it in ourselves. This is a case of failure to re-examine the original premise. We learn long ago to “ignore the uncomfortable,” and wind up in a place of “misery” trying to avoid “uncomfortable.” Not a good trade off! Looks like it’s time to re-look uncomfortable, yes? Gassho
My usual pattern when thinking of something exciting to do is to begin hearing: "you shouldn't", "you can't", and/or "it's dangerous". Then comes, "you'd really rather do something else like stay home and watch TV where it's safe and comfortable. R/L
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So 7 has a short run in your household? Perhaps you’re considering “fostering” the 7 energy once in a while? There’s a balance between being a hyper-thrill-seeker, which ego would call doing something new and exciting—and being a housebound couch potato—which ego would like you to be. We want to be available for the exciting life Life offers, yes? Gassho
Dominant thinking about what to do that's fun with focus on the activity instead of being present. A reminder is I only want presence. A voice says you will die before you do that so you better do it now. Wanting that fun becomes suffering. Gassho R/L
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So, you only want presence, and an ego voice threatens you with “missing out”? (I just learned that’s a “thing,” FOMO, fear of missing out. Did everyone else know that?) As soon as you are 100% convinced that you’re never going to have more fun doing anything than you have being present, that fear will evaporate. “But you’ll miss out!” You just smile and move on. Gassho
Perfectionist at work, feel resentful, inpatient and intolerant with supervisors. Management is self serving. My compassion minimally existent. Feel anxiety. Need more mentor R/L on anger. See acceptance: Work world is different. Judging doesn't work especially when it comes from egocentrickarmicconditioning /self-hate, being kind does. Gassho. R/L
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How are the characteristics of the Enneatype 7 showing up at work? Gassho
Currently watching distraction/avoidance have stronghold on human. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate does NOT want me to transcend this suffering habit. The”perceived negative experience” painted by ego leaves me falling for avoidance/distraction/multi-tasking, leaving energy low. See it, yet still choosing the karma. NO BEATINGS! Instead, R/L awarenesses, make small/doable goal & keep. R/L
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Well, of course it’s up to you. I hope you’ll read the Musings article that will come out ere long. Ceasing to indulge the beatings is not meant as permission to continue to indulge ego. The assumption, because you speak as if “you” and ego are different entities, is that the “you” speaking is not ego. It is ego. And what’s paying the price is the human being who has no voice, who lives in the low energy that results from distraction dissipation, and who must settle for a life that would never be chosen from center. It can sound as if we’re making conscious choices, when the odds are very good we are not. This might be a good time to try on one of those “values clarifications” questions: On your deathbed, are you going to be happy with the way you’ve spent your life? Gassho
"difficulty acknowledging other perople's pain" resonated. That's how ego feels. Recently I heard my mouth say "how can they make such a drama over their Grandma's death! She was old!". No wonder people don't come to me when they are sad. Recording over & over that it's not me.
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Excellent! Record that and listen all the time, yes? You’re seeing that your life has been hijacked by a force you don’t even approve of or like! That’s a powerful insight. Don’t let those same voices use such clarifying insights against you. You’re right, egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is NOT you. Gassho
My identification with Seven is mostly on the positive side, the enthusiasm for things that light me up, having a sense of humor, especially not taking conditioning seriously, and engaging people in conversation without reservation. R/L
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So, you’re not seeing any of the more “challenging” aspects of the 7 Enneatype? That is a rather 7-ish approach, isn’t it, to only see the “positive” side? Gassho
Planning for the future from an urgent conditioned place feels much different than following Life's guidance to attend to different aspects of a future plan as it drops in. There is no need with Life for a specific outcome, each moment is enough. Gassho. R/L
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True. It sounds as if you have experience with “planning for the future from an urgent conditioned place.” Has that karma disappeared, become subtler, moved to different areas of your life? No more urgency? Gassho
“Someday I’ll act on knowledge, skills I’ve developed and be freed from suffering.” That’s how conditioning gets me to believe it’s okay to indulge unhealthy behavior, to postpone spiritual practice. Trading thisherenow (out of fear of deprivation?) for promise of satisfaction in future never equals freedom. No more! Gassho R/L
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Oh, so very wise! That’s the bamboozle—trade the wellbeing of thisherenow for a promise of wellbeing in the future, a future that, of course, never seems to arrive! We could replace “wellbeing” with any number of qualities such as joy, fun, pleasure, excitement, satisfaction, fulfillment, etc., and the sentence would be equally valid. Everything we want is right here, right now, in this, and there’s no such thing as future! Gassho
Seeing that working on a project, I am almost always projecting into the future. I'm curious to see what my experience is if I do the work but with more attention on the present. R/L
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Buckle your seat belt! If you want to be transported to a world egocentric karmic conditioning/ self-hate can’t imagine and wouldn’t want to, bring ALL attention to the present. Gassho
Planner, don’t want to close options, (neither focused on adventure.) Fantasizing often assists in choosing next best step (w/ pausing to feel Life). Girlfriend is 7, with strong influences from other types. We’ve been struggling - class suggesting bail (to conditioning?) Fear-”bailing” theme? (imaginary future) R/L
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A few fewer options in what you wrote just might give me a clue as to what you’re saying!
Being truly unsure, I’ll just go with my favorite picture of the 7’s struggle with being unable to close options. The person is at a roundabout with 6-8 roads leading in different directions. Unable to close any options, the person has to just keep driving around the circle. “Planning” for all options can start to feel like the 6’s struggle with analysis-paralysis, can’t it? Gassho
Recognize 7’s avoiding confronting ”negative” emotions. Ego-I says, ”I’m fine.” Then says to me, “If not, you should be. All right/good people are fine.” Projected out it has trouble with other’s ”negative” emotions. Doesn’t want to hear them, wants to fix them. I choose loving/ compassionately trusting Life, to explore them. R/L
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Owning these projections is immensely helpful, isn’t it? When identified with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, we assume everyone is like us—or should be! Someone is “negative” and they’ve got to be helped out of that. But they might not experience where they are as negative. They might just be going though something important for them to go through exactly like we do. Lovingly, compassionately trusting Life does seem like the way to go, doesn’t it? Gassho
Because of practice I am learning to respond enthusiastically (I identify most with type 6) and openly to what Life offers. I am not averse to experiencing difficult emotions; however, escaping into fantasy has been a pattern in the past and sometimes still beckons. R/L
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Very good! We see these tendencies (hopefully a class like this makes the attitudes, beliefs, behaviors more observable), and we can now recognize them as they become subtler and/or show up in different places and times. This is the way we free ourselves from suffering with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Ego of course wants us to “be finished with” old ego hooks, but that’s designed to lull us into unconsciousness so when the hook bites in again we won’t have seen it coming. Solid practicing! Gassho
I've seen how there will be enthusiasm for travel or learning. Then the conditioned move out of enthusiasm and into the distraction of being in conversation: is that possible and if so, is it really worth it. Mentor says, "enthusiasm is great, let's just stay with that!" R/L Gassho
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More enthusiasm, less noodling. More HERE, less gone. That Mentor is a treasure, yes? Gassho
This type is farthest from my own experience, as I gravitate toward, not away from difficult emotions, mine and others', and experience frequent "poignancy attacks." However, I do plan for the future, get distracted, and react addictively to sensory pleasures. So 7 is confusing to me.
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No, 7 is not confusing to you. Conditioned mind is confusing to you, as it is to all of us! W e keep in mind we’re bringing awareness to this particular subject simply as a way of stepping back from egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate and getting another clearer view of what that suffering system is able to do to us and how it does that. We’re not figuring anything out, not learning anything, we’re not going to know anything when we’re finished—we’re just bringing conscious awareness to various beliefs, assumptions, and behaviors that we’re conditioned to let ego pull us into suffering over. That’s what you’re doing, and you’re doing a fine job of it. Don’t let the voices tell you different! Gassho
Definitely have difficulties with others' negative emotions. Intellectually know that using projection, the emotion is difficult in myself and need to not flee but stay and observe. Ego is putting up veil - I keep practicing so I can see exactly where I need to bring compassion to this human. R/L
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There we are! That’s all we’re doing. We’re practicing. Just paying attention. Seeing everything we can see. Having difficulty is just having difficulty, isn’t it? Probably no one ever died of having difficulty—especially with other people’s negative emotions! The negativity that resides inside our own head and generates the “negative emotions” can be deadly—if the process is not seen and seen through. Taking “negativity” out of ego’s ability to use and manipulate is a huge step toward freedom for the human being. Well done! Gassho
Distraction is something the voices tell me I "deserve" after a hard day. I read or watch TV to zone out - not daily but at least weekly. I also sleep to avoid wallowing when I start beating myself up. I fear falling into a spiral of worry - I avoid it.
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First, “you” don’t beat up “yourself.” The voices of self-hate beat you. I bet you can see that avoidance is not nearly as good a life plan as is freedom from fear and worry. True? So, it’s not that it’s wrong to use distraction to go unconscious—there’s nothing wrong, period—it’s that going unconscious is a suffering place for a human being to be. Practicing awareness gives us the tools we need to take refuge in thisherenow. If you want to move along that path to the refuge of thisherenow, I suggest a Recording and Listening practice. The Mentor is excellent company, far more entertaining than zoning out with anything! Gassho
I thought fantasy and planning were the way I avoided self-hating voices but maybe I am escaping authentic pain. I know I stuff feelings with food. Recording and Listening is a Practice tool but wonder if I have been using it to try to escape feelings rather than for awareness. R/L
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Those are excellent places to be looking! Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate will use anything to further its aim of siphoning off human life force. Fantasy and planning as a way to avoid self-hate is a lot like using gasoline to put out a fire. Is there authentic pain involved? That’s actually doubtful. “Authentic pain” is readily embraced in presence and isn’t anything we want to avoid once we choose to end a human being’s suffering. “Escaping feelings” is one of ego’s favorite dodges. What does it even mean? What are feelings? You have sensations in the body and stories in the head. Drop the stories, be with the sensations, and problems dissolve. The Mentor can assist, but we must avail ourselves of the Mentor’s wisdom. Gassho