Going through hard times is, well, hard! But doing it without Practice, without Sangha, without the teachings and generous daily support we’re offered, that’s unimaginable.
These past several years have tested and reshaped me in ways I never could have imagined. I can’t imagine what it would be like without being actively engaged with our amazing Sangha and the generous offerings of our Practice. It often drops in how rare and precious it is to have a living Zen teacher.
I’ve been a part of Practice for over 20 years, and my practice continues to deepen because I keep showing up. Some days it is wholehearted, some days it is begrudging and I’m obviously identified. The very good news is there’s no requirement for showing up disidentified. But every time I do show up, the odds dramatically increase that the identification will soften, and Life’s love will find me. My direct experience is that this is 100% guaranteed.
Life requires us to show up for ourselves to receive the gifts on offer. I was blessed to be on retreat recently and, while out on a serene walk in the woods, the wisdom of choosing this human crystalized again and again. If I want to end my suffering, I must choose the path that ends my suffering, which is the path of reassurances. Facing resistance to listening to my recordings has been fundamental to this process. During this retreat, ego lost its hold, and I am now blessed to experience the joy of listening to the recordings -- evidence that practice works!
So, I’ve upped the ante on Recording and Listening, especially creating recordings with reassurances that speak directly to what I’m facing, and then listening on repeat. My current commitment is to listen right before bed and first thing in the morning. I recently discovered how to set my digital recorder (not my phone) to repeat, so now I’m wrapped in love, surrounded by my reassurances all night long!
It’s not dramatic to say that Practice has saved my life. My encouragement: keep showing up and do just one bit more than ego says you can! It’s worth it!
Gasshō
Laura C.