I have experienced a rash of mistakes and mishaps lately. I'm talking about clerical errors, forgotten tasks, a bumped head, dropped dishes, a bitten tongue, and a poor kitty cat's paw accidentally stepped on. I feel the urge to add: This is just not like me. I'm usually much more "together" than this.
Since we follow the One Rule, I am using this as an opportunity to see how I'm caused to suffer, so I can drop it and end suffering. And since I'm writing this article, I'm also asking, "How is even this state of disequilibrium 'the Buddha'?"
A Practice Everywhere tweet came through the other day that said, "How do I love thee? Let me record the ways!" That tweet became the subject of my nightly love letter from the Mentor. As it turns out, the Mentor loves me in spite of any lapses in performance and even finds them a bit endearing. Seeing myself through the eyes of such unconditional love opened up possibilities that hadn't been available before. For example:
- As I let go the internal reproach that customarily accompanies mistakes and mishaps, I take myself waaaay less seriously.
- With my usual "together" persona dismantled, I am getting to see the patterns of thought that held that self-image in place. (And I'm always eager to dismantle those.)
- Compassion for others when they forget things and drop the ball is engendered and deepened.
- There is stirred in me a curiosity about the nature of "performance." Namely, who is "performing" all these human acts through this human form? If I can go from coordinated-to-klutzy for no apparent reason, what is living this form anyway?
An interesting note: Spurred by our current yearlong focus on Play, I've been wanting more wonder in my life. My current state-of-blunder has dropped me into a fertile field for wonder. That is, when we are met with unconditional acceptance instead of reproof, a big, wide world of inquisitiveness is possible, and truly everything is the Buddha.
Gassho,
Rebecca