This article is this week's New Beginning Blog, which Cheri is writing from the Monastery's new home in Sequim, WA.
Toward the beginning of my official Zen training I heard the expression “No reason to be bored.” At some point after that I learned that boredom is what happens when ego has nothing to reflect it. Formal sitting practice is an excellent place to witness this. Sit down, get still, attention on the breath, nothing going on, the ego campaign commences. “Not quite comfy, need to move a bit, an itch, chores not attended to, noises, memories, plans…” Slowly it all settles and there’s that tiny space between the thoughts. “Ahhhh….” Ego jolts into action. “This can’t be it. There’s nothing going on. Nothing going on can’t be the point of meditation. This is just stupid. It’s boring.” That translates into “there’s nothing doing here, only being and it’s all bad news for the maintenance of an illusion of a self that is separate from the rest of life.” When we’re here, not only is there no reason to be bored, it’s not even a possibility.
It’s not officially spring, but try to tell that to nature! The trees are making little buds and there’s a baby hazel nut on that naked little branch. Excited by all my reading, I thought maybe it was a critter in some developing phase, which I guess we can say it is—the “critter” is a hazel nut. (That takes me off into a happy recollection of Little Tree. Folks remember that one? I have no idea if it would be considered politically correct at this point, but I recall it being a delightful foray into a world gone away. Hazel nut reminded me of hickory nut for anyone following along,)
The yearlong retreat has started. When we said adieu to the last yearlong retreat in December it seemed an eternity until we’d be together again. Of course, there have been all sorts of Sangha practices we engaged in, but there’s nothing like the “every day all of us focused on the same thing” nature of a yearlong, is there? “That Thou Art.” What a notion! What a focus! I am the source of all the fodder for “no reason to be bored.” I don’t need anyone else in order to see all that needs to be seen to end suffering, but, oh, how marvelous that there are “elses.”
Since arriving here and realizing my dreams of bamboo were not to be, I’ve been trying to find someone to assist us in our ambition to allow the land to guide us as we support it to become what it was, would be, without human interference. (So grateful to be saved from being the next human to impose my “better ideas” on our Mother Earth.)
Finally, I made contact with a fellow—recommended by the Clallam County Conservation District—who not only is an expert in the land itself (soil, what grows well where, what’s going on with the water, wetlands, etc.), but who can assist in the actual work. (Tractors may be involved.) I arranged my whole life to be available for him and then got a call from his office saying he needed to postpone the appointment until the next day. Okay. No problem. Can do.
Next day I am ready! Got my list of questions. Got my tall boots on. Even have a checkbook and pen ready to pay him for the visit. Yep, you guessed it. Never showed. I called his office, left messages, texted the only number I had. Nada. I began to get concerned. What if something happened to him. He could have been in a car wreck on his way to the appointment. Everyone in the office is in shock. No one is thinking about business.
Days later I got an email. He forgot. He forgot!!! Could we reschedule for next week?
What a workshop!
Try to picture being bored when one’s entire life and karma is brought into the light in each moment. “I would never do such a thing!” Really? Have I? Well, yeah, but I didn’t mean to. Did he mean to? No, he just forgot. Have I ever forgotten something? Well, yes, but….
And, let’s not forget the opportunities offered as ego/karma wants to figure out what it all means and what I should do. Endless awareness practice opportunities. Do I actually need a yearlong retreat? Yes and no. Every moment is a moment to wake up and end suffering if we can remember that’s what’s possible for us. But, it’s so easy to forget, isn’t it? Just like that chap forgot. Just like we all forget. So, yes, I do need Sangha and day-to-day support for remembering that the deepest desire of my Heart is to awaken and end suffering.
In gasshō,
ch
More good news!