When egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is campaigning for something it wants, all we hear is positives. “If you X then you could Y, and you’d be able to Z and you wouldn’t have to A or B.” The future is bright, rosy—as compared to the way it is now, fraught with problems and difficulties. In egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s jolly future all troublesome issues are resolved through this one action. “I’m going to quit my job.” “I’m going to get married and settle down.” “I’m going to backpack around the world.” “I’m going to have a baby.” Whew! Finally an end to unhappiness!
When, from somewhere near center, the heart expresses a wish, all we hear is negatives. “If you X then you won’t be able to Y, and you’ll have to Z and A and B and it will be awful and you’ll hate it and won’t be able to stand it.” You’re going to go on a retreat?! You’re going to go to the Monastery as a Visiting Monk?! You’re going to Record and Listen EVERY DAY?! That’s insane! You’ll waste a bunch of money, you won’t have any time for yourself, you won’t be able to eat what you want, you won’t get to go to work, you’ll have to travel….” Suffering squared!
Sure, we’ve probably all had enough experience with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s cheery promises to know they’re lies, but it’s hard to remember they’re lies when they sound so bubbly/excited/happy, and we feel so good. However, here’s what it behooves us to keep in the front of our conscious awareness especially in the midst of all that bonhomie: When those voices talk us, one more time, into a perky trip down the primrose path, what they’re keeping us from realizing is that in colluding with them to believe all we’re going to get, we’re not being allowed to see all we’re losing.
What are we losing? Our LIFE. Our freedom, our ability to choose the heart, our connection with Life, our access to Life’s guidance, our authenticity—everything that, from center, we know makes life worth living. That’s what we trade for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s quick-fix promise of endless pleasure with no pain.
Worth considering….
In gasshō,
Cheri