I recently took up a new hobby: roller skating. Skating requires me to be present. The consequence of not being present could be that I fall on my face or backside, and so there is a clear and tangible motivation to stay present! I can’t indulge any conversation in the head about fears or anxieties. I can’t allow myself to be distracted by the other people skating around me. I also can’t allow my attention to wander toward celebratory thoughts or critiques while I’m skating. I have to pay close attention to my posture and my balance, and also pay attention to any obstacles. Staying present is key.
I also have been seeing that strapping shoes with wheels onto my feet creates a new reality that challenges conditioned patterns of thinking and acting. I am learning how to balance and move in a whole new way. I began skating ramps recently, and I noticed on my first attempt to go down a fairly small ramp that my brain and body resisted completely.
One day, after many abandoned attempts at skating a ramp, I decided to trust the knowledge that I had and push past the resistance. I dropped my skates down over the edge of the ramp, started rolling down, and then quickly panicked. I did everything they tell you not to do. My body didn’t access my knowledge about staying low and bending my knees. Instead, my habitual muscle memory kicked in and I tried to fight the falling feeling by standing upright and leaning back. Instantly, I fell hard but safely on my safety gear. I got up, shook it off, and went to the top again.
Before my next attempt, I thought to myself, “You might panic. It’s OK. You know what to do. Lean into the downward roll. Don’t resist it.” I stepped off the top, rolled halfway down, panicked again, leaned back, quickly remembered to lean forward, and came down the ramp sloppily but successfully. I could do it. It was possible. I skated to the top again, and this time I committed to the ramp completely. I rolled over the edge of the ramp, kept the balanced posture, and gave myself over to the forward rolling motion. I glided down the ramp like I had been doing it all my life! It reminded me of a favorite book title: When You’re Falling, Dive!
I see from this experience something that I have seen in other areas of my life when it comes to letting go of the beliefs manufactured by egocentric karmic conditioning that hold me back and hold me down: When I allow Life to lead, and when I allow myself to ride Life’s energy, then I am truly free. There is no struggle. There is just freedom.
Gassho,
Lisa R.