We are in an email class on Acceptance. Below are excerpts from the class with the Guide’s responses.
Unacceptable content is not sharing life with a partner/family despite practicing so much awareness for how ego interferes in relationships I am still single. THAT is what would make life good/give it meaning. If I accept not having that I accept sadness and disappointment, and that feels awful and gross. R/L
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This is one of those “gotta give the devil his due” moments. Ego is successful in feeding itself from the energy of human misery because it knows how to keep things simple. Convince a person there is one thing they need and must have to be happy, and then sabotage every effort the person makes to have it. Oh, and then throw in “And, it’s your fault.” Gasshō
Two bad choices are consistent regardless of content: resignation or resistance/ anger, I am right or I am wrong (not possible). If I accept the situation as it is, then I lose my "moral compass," Self righteousness is the karmic orientation.
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It seems what you’re seeing is that accepting Life as it is releases you from
accepting ego as “your” moral compass? Gasshō
My process of non-acceptance of something involves leaving centre and believing ego-fear voices that tell me I need to look outward for acceptance of myself rather than inward. Non-acceptance of something means not seeing ego is doing this. I notice if I accept myself I can accept anything ‘outside’. R/L
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Two really important points here: 1) Non-acceptance keeps us from seeing the scam ego is running on us, and 2) whatever we accept in our self we can accept “outside.” Because, of course, inside and outside are illusions created by ego mind. Yes? There isn’t any outside, there isn’t anyone else, and there are no others. Just me inhabiting my universe of one! Indulging ego in its dualistic imaginary land is simply a waste of the precious—and joyful—thisherenow. Very good. Gasshō
For me, the behaviour of anti vaxxers and anti maskers is unacceptable. As COVID cases continue to surge worldwide and hospitals are filled to overflowing, these people cling to the rantings of Donald Trump over science, endangering innocents around them. How can I feel compassion rather than fear and frustration?
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The way to compassion is doing precisely what you’re doing—bringing conscious awareness to the topic. We pay attention, sit still with, open to insights and clarity dropping in, and let awareness expand to create a larger circle of acceptance. One way we can practice with these kinds of situations is looking to see “how am I like that?” How am I choosing beliefs over evidence? How do I remain closed? We usually don’t need to look far. In this case, being closed to people who disagree is the same process on both sides of the issue. Gasshō
I'm seeing that non-acceptance holds everything in place. All attention is on the conversation about "wrong" and there isn't any room for exploration about what actually is "wrong", and how it is "wrong." I saw I didn't even know what was wrong with being old and unattractive! R/L
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I love it! At one point in an email class I asked people to name their most and least favorite food. Then I asked them to taste each of those so they could determine what made one thing most and one thing least. 80-90% reported being shocked to realize they had no idea. There we are. We are brainwashed into choosing beliefs over experience, conditioned mind over Life. Well we were! Maybe you need to spend more time with old, attractive people! Many of my heroes are in that category. Gasshō
Listening to the voices lets me feel safe. Ego takes care of me. This way I don’t have to do the work of finding out how I could be. Sacrifice self for illusion of safety. Remind self not about content. Sign up for R/L. Do the work.
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Great catch. We feel safe with ego because the relationship is so old, so familiar. But when we realize the price we’re paying for that false sense of safety, we’re ready to choose the true safety of conscious, compassionate, present awareness. Fortunately, the “work” is at the same level of difficulty as falling in love! Gasshō
I really see that ego is in charge of this issue in my life. I believe that ego’s relentless process is the only practical way to achieve the goals. I don’t know another way, can’t think of another way, and fear hits me if I try to consider an alternative.
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That’s why in awareness practice we don’t “try to consider” alternatives. The alternatives ego offers are ego alternatives. When ego gets to the edge of its tiny, extremely limited imaginary world, and the next step is for the person to move beyond ego, ego panics. That’s the jolt of fear. That jolt of fear is ego’s terror of being left without the attention it needs to syphon off human life force. Yes, that sounds completely nuts and the ego voices will try to convince us it is—right up until we watch it happen. When we’re HERE, in presence, Life offers us the “now” steps, the possibilities that ego could never even imagine. This process is why people talk about “faith” and “trust” and stepping off into the abyss. That’s how it feels when we’re identified with ego; the actual experience is closer to bliss. Gasshō
Unacceptable when I have needs that I put before others. Even when I squeeze them down to crumbs, ego zaps me. It causes me to fantasize about indulging, and also pulls 100% attention to my “suffering” thus missing out on being with those I am “sacrificing” to be with. Gassho
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Giving new meaning to “damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” eh? Why shouldn’t your life come before other people’s life? Should they put your life before theirs? It’s crazy until we get to the denouement: “… pulls 100% attention to my ‘suffering’ thus missing out on being with those I am ‘sacrificing’ to be with.” Maybe this one is more “heads you lose, tails you lose.” I’m hoping you’re seeing that as the great big insight it is! Gasshō