Enneagram Class 9

CLASS 9 FINAL

I definitely avoid confronting what is arising to be addressed.  One way is the habit of reading novels and eating junk food every evening to avoid feelings. Change in behavior: Conversing with the Mentor about what the heart wants and would be authentic self-care instead of following habit. R/L

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Well done! That’s what we call “practice in action,” isn’t it? Our other applicable New Zen saying is “there’s no change in consciousness without a change in behavior.” We have an insight. We see the process that’s causing us to suffer. We see the behavior change that will enable us to keep that clarity in the front of conscious awareness. We do that thing! Voila! Gassho

 

Noticing this week how "I" repressed feelings to keep the peace during family crisis. Allowing the human to have energy/anger seems to open a space for others to speak more freely, too. Something gets released and energy shifts. Laughter follows. The human experiences deeper peace by going through the darkness. R/L

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The only reasonable response to that is, “Amen!” Yes? We experience deeper peace by going through the fear than by trying to avoid it. In fact, avoiding doesn’t produce peace at all, does it? We attempt to keep egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate at bay by appeasing it and all we’re doing is feeding it! Great job! Gassho

 

New opportunities with work and relationships;  human gets excited, and attention goes to existing relationships/responsibilities that fill up day,  no time for New/Change.   Frustration with egocentrickarmicconditoning/selfhate directing attention to what it knows,  and R/L whats working;  seems slippery, it does expand awareness and human feels stuck.  R/L

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Actually, the human is being ignored as ego engages in a conversation with ego about slippery and stuck. You know what to do, that’s obvious. Continue to direct attention to thisherenow—using those R/L skills—every time egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate tries to drag you back to what it “knows.” It’s a process. It’s a practice. You’re getting to see how ego gets maintained. That’s important to see. You don’t want there to be bamboozles you’re not aware of! You see what it’s doing and you turn attention to thisherenow. No stuck in sight! As we like to say, “get out of the conversation in the head and all problems dissolve.” Gassho

 

Trouble with decisions? Check. And seeing that, it becomes easier to just make a decision and go with that, with no review afterward. And important things left until the end of the day? Check. And now I recommit to that critical body care in the morning. R/L. Gassho

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There we have it! This is waking up and ending suffering, not an ego designed right/wrong contest we get to lose. Get bamboozled? Check. See the bamboozle? Check. Make new bamboozle-thwarting commitment? Check. More able to stay present and sidestep the bamboozle? Check. Well done. Gassho

 

I notice an energy to move away from conflict in marriage rather than trust our resilience and tolerate paradoxes.  Peacemaker is a friend as much as conflict is.  R/L

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Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate loves to frame interactions as conflicts. You’re talking about a marriage here! If there’s any relationship that gives us an opportunity to learn to “get on the same side” with another human being, it’s a committed relationship such as marriage. True? Presumably, we love this person we’ve committed our life to. We want to “know” them and have them know us. We’re not enemies. There isn’t one right way for a human being to be, and we need to figure out which one of us that is! This can be the most marvelous opportunity to employ our facilitation skills of reflecting, drawing out, and clarifying. I want to understand you, not try to make you wrong! Yes? This is our best opportunity to throw ego out of the relationship and learn to choose Unconditional Love. Gassho

 

Seeing the 9 process:: ego can talk this human in a “one-down” status and not speak it’s mind when interacting with those in “one-up” positions. Watching the process of the desire to speak up drop in but egocentrickarmicconditioning-self hate quickly step in a silence this human. Ego says don't make mistake.

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As if we could make a bigger mistake than following the directions of ego! Here’s another example of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s “framing.” People are one up or one down. One needs to speak up or say nothing. How about just communication?! How about just speaking? What are we taking from this? Listening to and believing a conversation that ego is carrying on in conditioned mind is never going to be wise or happy. Alternative? Get a conversation going with the Mentor via R/L—both wise AND happy!  Gassho

 

It was great reading the description of nines because I can see that  in the past, I really resonated with nines much more, ;avoid conflict like the plague, shut down and hope it all goes away. Through practice and mentoring I am encouraged to be myself, my fantastic beautiful self! R/L

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A grand and glorious human being, a unique expression of Life in each moment. Way better choice, isn’t it? Congratulations. Gassho

 

My behavior typically is not harmonious but egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate often suggests this approach as a “should-hood” with practice, shutting down presence.  It also appears when anxious as a way to “soothe” myself (preventing me from addressing the often irrational source of the anxiety). R/L

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Well, that’s good to see and see through, isn’t it? You have an R/L practice so you have an already established practice that actually does soothe the human being by turning attention away from the anxiety-producing conversation in the head and bringing attention to the body, to the breathe, to thisherenow. True? With such clarity about the process ego is using against you to maintain itself, you’re well prepared to make a conscious choice for presence. This is very good, isn’t it? PS You might have noticed that I removed the capital letters from egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Capitalizing the words that represent that hateful process gives them a power we really don’t want them to have.) Gassho

 

I'm seeing that conditioning uses the goal of "my peace of mind" to keep me focused on there being too much to do (as in I shouldn't commit). In presence,   I find balance participating in life including taking care of myself. I've seen so much in this class! Gassho. R/L

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Oh, good. When we’re present, there’s always time for everything, isn’t there? And the human being is never excluded from thisherenow. Congratulations. Gassho

 

Numbing out and procrastination get labeled "bad", and then it's the battering cycle. Ego's story that being present is painful is compelling. Dropping that, I discovered the pain passed and it wasn't as bad as egocentrickarmicconditioning/self hate said it would be. I will keep looking. Grateful to practice! R/L

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Me too! The only thing that might qualify as “bad” is ego’s stories and advice. The present that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate paints as “painful” is not the Present we’re talking about in awareness practice. Being “present” to ego’s imaginary world of something wrong/not enough is miserable! That’s not even remotely like being present in/with Life in the moment. Yes, keep noticing and all will become clearer and clearer. Good job! Gassho

 

Feeling overlooked/I don’t matter is a deeply held belief, seems to hold together the 9 identity for me. When identified with egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate, getting close to that belief feels terrifying and threatening. This unexamined belief, and pain associated with believing it, is being used to keep me under control! Thank you! R/L

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Yes, indeed, it is, and you have seen through it, haven’t you? Congratulations! Now you get to grab that recorder, hold the Mentor’s hand, and walk right straight through that pack of lies! You are officially “out of control.” Feels great, doesn’t it? Gassho

 

“Avoid conflict at all costs” is something I absolutely identify with. It has left the human in places of suffering, convinced that I can handle my suffering more than I can handle others suffering. It has been the greatest practice to recognize compassionate action is compassionate to ALL. R/L

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Beautifully stated. “Compassionate action is compassionate to ALL.” Ego is so successful because it keeps its “host” separate and out of the mix. You need to suffer rather than having other people suffer (assuming they would, which is a major assumption) because you can handle suffering better than others can. What a load of hogwash, huh? How about we’re all equal to our lives, and we all get embraced in compassion? Well, that’s lovely. That’s as it should be and could be, but there’s no place for ego in that equation. So, the big kibosh on that! You get to be left out of compassion and relegated to the suffer role for no reason other than ego gets to feed off of you! Way past enough—yes? Gassho

 

Repeating familiar “solutions”: if doing A doesn’t work, do A harder! Biggest is surrendering my life, needs to “avoid” conflict with egocentrickkarmicconditioning/self-hate: just do what voices say so they stop for a little bit. Repeat. Time to risk them screaming while doing something kind for human. Harmony comes from Life. R/L

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BRILLIANT! That’s where we can all see our 9-ishness! Okay, okay, I’ll just do what the voices say so they’ll maybe shut up and leave me alone for a while. There’s the “conflict” people are attempting to avoid—it’s not with other people, it’s with the voices of self-hate. Which brings us to the best part of all: It’s time to let the voices scream while we do something kind for the human. Yes, indeed. “Harmony comes from Life,” not from futile negotiations with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Amen to that! Gassho

 

My husband and I loaned our daughter and her then-husband money to purchase a house.  They had one child and have divorced.  Our daughter repays on her portion of the loan, our ex-son-in-law does not.  Voices say “Keep the peace for your grand-daughter’s sake, avoid a confrontation”. Anger, resentment result.R/L

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Ah, those voices doing their dirty work! “Keeping the peace” means saying nothing and growing anger and resentment. That’ll go well, right? NOT! “We hate your father, which you know, but we’ll never say why, so isn’t this peaceful?” Yikes, huh? A person can be required to pay a loan in a very peaceful manner! Might be time to read a little Gandhi. He managed to bring the most powerful empire on earth to its knees—peacefully. Gassho

 

I see a very strong avoidance of feelings of tension from conflict and decision making.  So instead of  moving forward, conflicts stay unresolved and decisions don't get made.  So although there is 'peace' from strong emotions in the moment, there is no long term resolution. R/L

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Now we have “peace” defined as “no strong emotion.” Is that what peace is? Are Italians forever doomed never to feel peace because they’re so passionately emotive? Might we assume the Stoics were the most peaceful folks of all? You can tell I really want you to explore what egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate has convinced you is the life experience you’re seeking, right? I suspect the peace you’re looking for is not going to be found through stuffing emotions, don’t you? It’s going to be exciting and illuminating. I promise. Gassho

 

Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate identifies 9 as a perfect fit. Awareness practice has encouraged a break out so I joined a contentious PTA (baby steps). While someone is still striving for peace, it's great to see egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate squirm. Shines a light on all experience is ok. R/L

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It’s doubtful that’s a “someone” striving for peace. More likely it’s that squirming ego claiming to want peace while “striving” for the opposite. Here can be a fun place to look: Is what’s claiming to be striving for peace focused on peace or on the lack of peace? And, as with your neighbor, I hope you identify clearly just what “peace” means to you. If the definition leaves you less than fully ALIVE, please keep looking! Gassho

 

Yes, egocentrickarmicconditioning/selfhate often starts with a 9 stance, and then quickly comes in with a 1. Like a tag team. "Oh, you don't care, best stay out of it," then "they'll do it wrong; it's got to be this way."  Tug-of-war for attention. R/L

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Oh, marvelous catch! This is how we can use all these karmic orientations for greater clarity rather than greater suffering. Who knows how many more karmic tendencies are on the tug-of-war team, huh?

 

As an 8, I first thought nothing here for me. But now I see that often when I want/need to ask for something, when I’m uncomfortable about something--Actually, it’s when egocentric-karmicconditioning/self-hate says something is wrong with me or them, I try to avoid talking or asking. R/L

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Good to keep paying attention when the voices offer their “perspective,” isn’t it? How often are we not paying attention and then bamboozled by ego’s quick assessment? Who knows, as you go along, you may choose not to identify yourself as any particular Enneatype, but, instead, seeing how you’re all types and more, just give up identifying with ego at all. Let’s do that, shall we?  Gassho

 

Spent much of life seemingly invisible; an ego stance of staying safe and avoiding conflict.  Through practice, R/L, discovered authentic expression of life. Now, never feel alone, heart is full, and unconditional love.  Still on the quiet side and discovered that twinkling is nice way to go through life! R/L

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What an excellent point! Some people just like to be on the quiet side. It’s not like our only two choices are being stifled by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate or having a song and dance career on Broadway. Life will live each one of us perfectly, as soon as we let it. How do we know when that’s happening? We can’t be sure of course, but a heart that feels full of unconditional love could be a powerful clue, huh? Gassho

 

I've been noticing this arising in scheduling dates - I need to go along with whatever others want/request, whether or not it works for me. I'm seeing how I'm being talked into abandoning myself to find someone "out there" who will love me and never abandon me. R/L

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That’s so big to see, isn’t it? There’s a lot of evidence that finding that “someone” (we call it conscious, compassionate awareness) that loves us unconditionally and will never abandon us inside us increases exponentially our chances of having that experience in this very lifetime. You get that now, don’t you? Now you know where you’re looking. That’s so good. Gassho

 

Interesting to see how many things I'd never do alone (like bingewatching tv series or drinking beers throughout the afternoon), I end up doing in company, bamboozled into seeking a sense of communion. Glad I am training to be present with people! (The famous people meditation). R/L

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What a powerful insight. The fact that other people are involved doesn’t make all behaviors good for us, does it? We all know “drinking alone” is not a good thing to do, but that doesn’t mean getting falling down drunk with other people is the way to go! Oh, those evil voices in the head are tricksters as well as evil. “People meditation” is just about the most challenging AND can be mighty supportive. Thank you for that. Gassho

 

Anger is suppressed until it hardens into resentment. "any disturbance in me is my job to manage" is the belief, so I twist the serenity prayer around onto myself "change me" I say until it erupts or squeezes out unskillfully.

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I bet by now you know I’m going to HIGHLY recommend that you establish a relationship with the Mentor through Recording and Listening practice. You just simply don’t need to let egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate torture you like that. It’s unnecessary and doesn’t lead to anything but suffering. If you’re not sure how to get going with that—and would like to—call in to Open Air and we can talk about it. Gassho

 

See how when w/Life I move towards positive 9-attritubes and when with egocentrickarmicconditioning/selfhate move towards its difficulties - feeling like life’s too hard, struggling through transitions/change, numbing out, saving essentials till late. Have intuition I have a lot to gain from looking at this pattern, will continue to R/L about it. R/L

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Oh, yes, you are absolutely correct. You have EVERYTHING to gain from continuing to see how egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is manipulating and controlling you. Everything to gain and only suffering to lose. R/L is the key to your success. And Sangha. Stick with us as you continue the exploration—and then just stick with us! No reason to leave us just because you end suffering! Gassho

 

Avoidance, passive aggressive-> no resolution. Belief: If I ignore it, it will go away ( so I can numb out again). Seeing that pausing and staying with discomfort, lets it pass and opens the door for Life to bring a very different outcome. R/L

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Isn’t that a gorgeous thing to see and experience? If someone had a sore tooth and the voices were saying, “Don’t go to the dentist; that will be really painful,” we would be able to quickly see that those voices were setting up way more suffering than that trip to the dentist would ever be painful. That is EXACTLY what egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is doing with the “ignore it and it will go away” strategy. NO, it won’t! Face it and it will go away! Well done! Gassho

 

Seeing the ‘I’ who doesn’t want to be a nuisance and that it’s ego’s projection on to others.  Left with a life of anxiety and separation, afraid to say what I think in case it causes conflict .  Being cheerful and smoothing everything over is not being here.  R/L Gassho

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You are so very correct. In fact, that’s how egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate makes sure a person isn’t HERE. Now that you’ve seen so clearly that “I” is ego and not you, you can begin to let Life guide you in your words and actions HERE. This is very good, isn’t it? It’s kind and caring and leads us to the life we want for ourselves and with others. Gassho

 

Self-forgetting!  Laziness regarding my own priorities!  Oh boy, that nails a karmic pattern that causes great suffering, from postponing practice to eating foods that I know don’t suit this body. Practicing finding a middle way of compassion for all as I anticipate time with others.  Gassho R/L

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Practicing compassion. That’s it, isn’t it? We don’t have to change anything or fix ourselves or make wild promises of future perfection. We’re just right here, right now, practicing compassion. Feeling that compassion is a very fast trip past “self-forgetting.” When compassion is what we are and what we get, we want to be HERE for it. Gassho

 

Grateful to see in another way how the knee jerk reaction to turn to the conditioned behavior to drop the need of this person for the sake of "keeping the peace" has been a major energy source for ego. Ready to let go! Gassho. R/L

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Ready to have that energy back for you? Maybe some laughing, singing, dancing in your “really soon”? We’ve given our precious life force away to ego for plenty long enough. Not “too long,” because this is how long it has taken us to see what will set us free. But it’s been long enough and now we’re ready to say “YES” to Life and know we have all the energy we need for whatever Life is bringing us. Yippee, huh? Gassho

 

 

 

Nine expresses as “don’t rock the boat” or denial, and hunkers down to survive the storm, avoiding hot topics. Recognizing the enneatypes equate to aspects of the personality.   Watching how thoughts trigger a feeling that leads to identification.  The Enneagram shorthand makes it easier to recognize these personalities arising. Gasssho R/L

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Yes, and perhaps even more helpful is to simply recognize the karmic tendencies that lead to the unconsciousness that opens the way to identification with ego. It’s not that “personalities” are arising so much as seeing the progression of first there’s movement then sensation then a label/thought then an emotional reaction then conditioned behaviors. As soon as we recognize the thought that’s heading to that conditioned behavior, we can re-direct attention to presence and sidestep the whole karmic mess. See what I mean? Way quicker and easier!  Gassho

 

Wanting to maintain peace no matter what, I have sometimes forgotten the heart’s deepest desire, to be free from suffering.  Forgetting only brings more suffering.  With a strong Recording and Listening practice, I’m allowed to be with and move through disturbances and be guided by wisdom, love and compassionate.  R/L

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GOOD FOR YOU! We don’t have to wait around and hope that someday, through some magical something, we’ll get to have the life we choose. We can choose that life now, and we have the tool (Recording and Listening) that allows us to have that life now. GOOD FOR YOU! Gassho

 

Forever the diplomat, the description of the 9 seems most like how my ego responds to life. Especially the inability to make decisions unless there is one external authority (chosen by 6!) to lean on or please. Suppression of anger and neglect of my own agenda, check. I spy egocentric karmic conditioning!"

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Spy it but don’t own it, please. If we start thinking in terms of “my” ego, we’re in a relationship with ego that we really don’t want. Here’s something I’d like you to explore, should you choose to: Are you actually pleasing that “external authority”? We can be talked into a story of “I do everything for you,” but that story might not have anything to do with the “you” the story claims everything is being done for. If I decide I want to sacrifice my life for someone else, that’s my choice. And, it can be really important to see if the sacrifice I’m making is one the other person wants me to make. Know what I mean? Gassho

 

The message has been: look for the "middle, peaceful way,” which always led to somehow struggling internally to right the external world. When I stay here and engage in Life, the conflict “I” fear is an opportunity to look to mentor, engage, ask for help. The conflict is internal. R/L Gassho

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Here we have another GOOD FOR YOU! Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate talks people into believing “the conflict I’m avoiding is out there,” but it isn’t out there, is it? It’s internal. Seeing that, we can begin to resolve the conflict where it resides—inside. The glorious news about that is that’s a location we can deal with! If the conflict is out there, my resources are limited by those “others.” But it’s inside. So I have absolute choice about the process and the outcome. Gassho

 

I do dislike conflict and enjoy trying to get people on the same page, but don't consider myself a peacemaker. I certainly don't avoid the dark side and am no pollyanna. But merging with others  especially lovers, was a frequent impulse. Nines rarely win.

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Hmm… Win at what? If the “game” is waking up and ending suffering, no ego identity is going to win, are they?  If the game is “satisfying the ego,” are there ever winners? “Who” is that “I” making those statements, do you know? “What” has enough distance on the human being to be so definitive about how that person is? Gassho

 

When there is conflict I feel confusion.  I act unaffected but resentment builds.  Without checking into egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate first, saying "you don't know what to say, you'll look bad, emotional"  the human could just be thisherenow.  Going to take lots of conscious awareness practice. Gassho  R/L

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No reason to assume getting to thisherenow is going to take lots of conscious awareness practice. You’ve already done it! You’ve done it more than once. You know what it is and where it is. Right? Now, that said, I hope you’ll choose “lots of conscious awareness practice,” simply because it’s a way happier way to live. True? Gassho

 

"Do I agree or disagree" with others' agendas?  How much time have I spent trying to figure out others' agendas, imagining I know, and wondering if I agree or disagree?  Alot!  So much more peaceful to not know and listen to my own heart.   Doesn't appear to create a problem!   R/L

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Oh, praise be! It’s so much more peaceful to not know and to listen to your own heart, AND it doesn’t appear to create a problem! Isn’t that extraordinary to realize? You get to be present in your very own body and life, and there’s no problem! Hallelujah! Yes?  Gassho

 

At work I frequently attached myself to a strong leader who gave me power and autonomy, but I never felt confident to be the leader person. Conditioning made me resent myself for that, but now I can see the value in what I did. R/L

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Every step along the path is essential, isn’t it? Now you see the value. There never was a problem with what you were doing, was there? Isn’t that the best? You are free to be any way you choose! Gassho

 

The Mentor asks "why would we want to live if not to live a life we Want to live?"  Let's practice doing that.  Wanting to live a life we want to live... Is wanting to live.  So, let's experience all that is wanting to live! Hooray! Gassho.... R/L

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So, let’s practice doing that! Hooray, indeed! Congratulations! Gassho

 

There is least identification with Nine characteristics which sparks interest to see if they may be hiding out.  No surprise if they are since there is judgement from the One that labels Nines "lazy" and unmotivated.  Ha!  Fascinating to see how conditioning labels and judges conditioning!  R/L

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What a great point! Conditioning projects, watches, labels, and judges—conditioning! We really don’t need to be involved in any of that mess, do we? Let it knock itself out trashing itself! We certainly don’t need to waste a moment caring. Has nothing to do with us. Thank you for that. Gassho

 

When egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate tries to con me into retreating from the wild, glorious unpredictability of life into the inertia and numbness of what it calls “comfort” and “peace of mind,” the mentor helps me remember that “I do not intend to tiptoe through life to arrive safely at death.” R/L Gassho

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YES! Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is a set of brakes meant to bring Life to a halt. But it doesn’t slow Life down a bit, does it? All that happens when we give ego the power to slam on the brakes is that we miss our “wild and glorious” life. We’re going to enjoy the comfort and peace of mind that Life gives us, right? And it does. And that’s the comfort and peace of mind we choose. We don’t choose the inertia and numbness that ego has on offer!   Gassho

 

Compassion arises in seeing/accepting what feels karmically familiar for this peace-seeking being, the limitations of conflict avoidance at all costs and in choices made from egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate’s projections to withdraw rather than “hurt others”, and how prioritizing external focus interfered with attending to this being’s needs. Breathing in unconditional love/gratitude! Gassho R/L.

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That’s the answer for us, isn’t it? “Breathing in unconditional love/gratitude.” We do that and all the ego “nonsense” just falls away. Ego’s crapola has NOTHING TO DO with who we are. It just simply doesn’t. We’re dropping the tired old ego maintaining habits and just breathing in unconditional love and gratitude. The secret to our success! Gassho

 

Nine process occurs with intimate friendships. “I” is concerned with being the ˜best’ friend by being low maintenance and avoiding confrontation. Sees self-effacing as building trust and intimacy. Seeks label of ‘better’ friend for self-sacrifice. Can sometimes prioritize important social relationships over personal commitments to practice, health and rest. R/L.

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Fortunately, you’re practicing awareness and seeing all of that! Now, you do know that “I” is not at all concerned with you being the best friend, right? Ego is only concerned with you looking to it for “guidance,” and thereby giving ego the attention it is desperate to get. So, those false, often unexamined beliefs and assumptions get to run your life, and you’re convinced you should let them because they’re helping you to be the best friend. Now you get to explore whether your friends want you to be self-effacing and self-sacrificing. Ego certainly wants you to pursue those behaviors, but do those who love you? Important to find out, huh? Gassho

 

So interesting to see how egocentric karmic conditioning can use anything...even desire for harmony and peace and turn it into an opportunity to control us and keep us small. True peace comes from being aligned with Life which can require seemingly difficult choices...but only difficult for ego. R/L Gassho

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Wow! That’s so big, isn’t it? Ego will use anything—especially our deepest heart’s desires—to control us and keep us small. True peace comes from being aligned with Life, AND what we’re conditioned to think of the “difficult choices” required to aligning with Life are only difficult choices for ego. As soon as we get HERE, everything is easy, isn’t it? Gassho

 

Seeing how avoiding conflict feels “better” at the time but leads to numbness, lack of connection that conflict avoidance is supposed to foster. Ego tricks me into abandoning my experience for other people’s “right” experience, cutting me off from myself too and leaving me alone with ego! Deep Gassho R/L

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Another great catch! What you’re seeing is that abandoning yourself is supposed to bring you connection with others. You’re giving up yourself so other people get to have the “right” experience, and all you get is stuck with ego! No good, huh? What is good, though, is that you’ve seen it, and now you know exactly what the bamboozle is. No more! You’re on it and the tide she is a-turning. Gassho

 

This is my dominant go-to mindset. Definitely prefer to keep the peace, look on bright side, avoid "unnecessary" decisions. Even "where do you want to go to dinner?" Funny thing is it's so buried down there I often convince myself I don't have an opinion. Gassho

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It was buried down there, right? Now you know what’s going on, how you’re being conned into abandoning yourself for no good reason! It’s supposed to give you something you want, but you’ve seen all abandoning yourself is ever going to result in is abandoning yourself! It’s not that we want to have “opinions” (those only perpetuate ego), but we do want to be able to respond to Life as Life unfolds in each moment. The new possibility is so exciting, isn’t it? Gassho

 

Some 9 qualities from other angles.  Self neglecting - 3ness accomplishing?  Decision challenges - 1ness.  Suffering source: Avoiding “external” confronting/ conflict.  Low desire to go w/ flow (significant duality).  Significant suffering: “internal” conflict conversation.  Would be interesting to look at “we’re all types” from “integrated” direction.  (9ness harmony) J  R/L 

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That’s a great idea. I will run that by the powers that be. Thank you. Gassho

 

Childhood full of chaos and loss. I learned to suppress my needs, anger, disappointments, sadness with the goal to bring peace. Thought I was to blame for everything. This brought inner resentment and despair. Always afraid to be in contact with emotions for fear of dying of sadness.

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Ready to let that go? I suspect if people were able to die of sadness, most people would be dead already. Childhood IS chaos and loss. Just about everyone has a story about the specifics of the chaos and loss they endured. Those days are over! We’re not children anymore. It never was “our fault.” Yes? Let’s get on with giving the human being a life of expression, excitement, fulfillment, AND peace, shall we? That’s what’s possible for us now. (You do R/L, don’t you?) Gassho

 

Notice myself going along with other people's agendas and not having preferences to avoid conflict. Confusion about when this is a 9 tendency  happening and when I just need to say “Yes!” to life? Feel fear when I imagine potential conflict, then “I” back off from my requests.  Gassho. R/L

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I bet you know by now that “feeling fear” means “that’s the direction I’m heading in,” right? It doesn’t matter WHAT we feel fear about; we gotta put paid to fear. Fear is just ego. Ego uses fear to control human beings. If you look closely you’ll see the Yes! that is saying Yes to Life, and the yes that is “I’ll say anything if you just won’t hurt me.” People rarely die of the “conflict” that arises over preferences! A drum I’m going to beat on mercilessly as we explore 9-ness is “what do you mean by conflict?” and “what is so scary about conflict?” Gassho

 

Could relate to the Nine desire for connection and the tendency to avoid conflict by withdrawing and numbing out.  The self-effacing attitude leading to being overlooked by others struck a karmic note as well. This class has been such a splendid opportunity to see we are all ONE. R/L

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Isn’t that the best? We are all ONE. As we get that, about a ton of baggage falls away and much that has tormented us will be seen as ludicrous. Now, let’s get to work on the “withdrawing and numbing out” part of the program, shall we? As ONE, we need everyone to show up and play their part. Without that, our ONE will have some missing pieces and flat spots! Gassho

 

This quintessential Libra is very familiar with the PeaceMaker. Trying to smooth things over (projecting inadequacy inward and outward) is common. So is On the one hand, on the other hand, a fear of making the wrong choice that leads to procrastination and, again, reinforces belief in inadequacy. Gassho R/L

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One of those “vicious circles” we hear so much about, eh? I feel inadequate, I project inadequacy, I see inadequacy, I feel inadequate. Great image of the “wheel of karma” rolling along the route of suffering. This might be a good time for a process map. See where you want to pull out the karma nippers and start making some jarring holes in karma’s path? Gassho

 

9s conditioning murmurs, you’re ˜in a state of false spiritual attainment; you choose looking on the ˜bright-side-of-life, avoiding conflict. Hearing this, I breathe; move through conditioning’s illusory/hateful-self, saying, I choose LIFE; Life IS bright!  Aha, I did the very process it says I don’t do: moved through it into Presence! R/L

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HA! There we have it! The “conflict” to avoid is the one egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate wants us to live in with it! Well done. Gassho

 

I see this with my spouse and friends, trying to figure out the response they want rather than expressing what’s true for me. Better to talk to the Mentor for what I need and want rather than trying to artificially win the approval of others. R/L Gassho

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But wait! Is that an assumption that the approval of others would be “won” artificially? How do you know that’s true? Is that a belief that your spouse and friends DON’T WANT you to live authentically? That who and how you are is not of interest to them? That seems worth looking into, don’t you think? Ego would certainly want you to believe that, but Life? Not likely. Gassho

 

Big theme for me--what do I want? How do I know it's the "right" thing? My focus these days, thanks to Practice daily reminders and support: dropping the conversation and choosing the experience I want to have. Every day I'm gaining more trust that that's the "right" direction. R/L

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Okay, picture this YES is about ten feet tall. Great big giant YES. Drop the conversation, choose the experience you want to have, trust Life. THERE. A complete life plan. EXCELLENT! Gassho

 

The ultimate shell game: trading aliveness for the illusion of peace. Freedom is walking away from the con, each con another blinder, gag, and hobble. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this moment of freedom. And the next 

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Can we get an Amen? Yes, indeed we can! We are reclaiming our lives one precious moment of freedom at a time! Gassho

 

Old family joke about my Nineness: Having trouble making up your mind? Well, yes and no. Ego says not expressing  preferences is admirable nonattachment; now seeing it's actually fear of being blamed for making wrong choices/decisions. Even when peacekeeping succeeds, gets no credit. Waaaah! So unfair! R/L

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Yes, it is so unfair that going through life giving our life to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate doesn’t give us the life we want. So unfair. NOT! (I’m trusting you’re kidding, right?) That lack of success with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s soul-numbing, energy-sucking methods has DRIVEN us to a choice to practice awareness, wake up and end suffering. Yeeeeeaaaaa! So kind! Gassho

 

Many aspects resonate with this lens, although it is not a label that I would have chosen to describe myself. Hmm, perhaps all these labels and boxes are hindering my real disidentification/awareness.  So grateful for this exploration. Really seeing how we are all types and how stories lead to suffering.

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I suspect you are correct that all these labels and boxes are simply in place to keep us from seeing the obvious truth that we are an expression of All That Is in human form. Every time we step back and get that larger view, we get that much closer to saying adios to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate once and for all. Such a blessing. Gassho

 

I'm a Nine. The voices say that the Nine profile is unfairly negative AND proof that I'm weak and inadequate! I ignore them, knowing that I'm more than a Nine,, sharing traits with the other Types

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Very good. In fact, you are NOT a 9. Nine is what you aren’t. The 9 characteristics are simply the karma that masks True Nature in the form we call “you” and “you” call “me.” Good job ignoring the voices; those voices are mean and they lie. We know that; time to stop attending to them. Got an R/L practice? It’s a good thing to have! Gassho

 

I'm starting a business. Experiencing sleepiness and lack of energy. Reluctant to deviate from traditional norms of my profession. Don't want to speak up from my own point of view. 'Self-forgetting,' yes. Am experiencing this as 'nothing to say,' not anxiety. Want to nap, read, eat candy, feel calm. R/L

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Oh, dear! Very helpful to see these ego maintenance qualities are not helpful to indulge, yes? Do we have to wonder if egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is out to get us? Not reading what you wrote we don’t! I know you’re going up against that “you are getting very sleepy” machine. True? Please say yes, get up, take a brisk walk outside in some fresh air, remember who you are and what you choose for your life, and get on with it! NOW! Gassho

 

in fear of confrontation, there is no communication. "I" figures out the solution and proceeds. Resulting in a disconnect, lack of integrity and upset.  See that a possible confrontation would be preferable versus the results of trying to avoid conflict. R/L

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YES! That’s it! What egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate uses to scare and control us is FAR worse than facing whatever Life brings. Communicate! It is the fastest way to shut down those hateful voices. And, I promise you, everyone who loves you will be way happier to have you communicating from your heart than having you listen to those nasty voices and shutting yourself down! Gassho

 

Strong desire to avoid confrontation and avoid looking at what is "painful." It is only painful and the peace is only disturbed as a result of listening to conditioned mind. Clearly that is the only problem. Clearly. Gassho R/L

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Clearly. I love it! It really is that clear, isn’t it? Well done! Gassho

 

Appreciated  seeing  we are all nine types examples  in each enneatype.  Re 9: Desire to avoid conflict and keep the peace plays out by not asking for what I need. This is based on the assumption it will make someone else angry. It’s also connected to fear of authority. R/L

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It is actually fear of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. That’s the only thing anybody ever fears. All fear exists in conditioned mind, inside each person’s head. That whole “strategy” is based on hogwash swirling around in conditioned mind. You can see that, right? You, asking for what you want/need, are not going to “make someone else angry.” It will make you angry—which I suspect you’ve noticed. People get angry because people get angry. We can’t control people by listening to controlling voices in our head. That’s child thinking. Fear of authority is nothing more than a fear of being yelled at by a disembodied voice in the head. Again, no one who loves you is going to want you to sacrifice your life in a misguided attempt not to upset them by saying what you want. True!  Gassho

 

Everything is just fine, until it isn't. My sister asks me why I wait until I am furious before I deal with things. Enneagram type 9  egocentrickarmicconditioning/selfhate looks to be the answer. Lots to see here. Would truly love to be free of this exhausting process.

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And so you shall be! You are practicing awareness. You are paying attention, looking, seeing, realizing, and your “work” will bring you the freedom you seek. Stick with it. Oh, and get an R/L practice. That will speed things up immeasurably. Gassho

 

I try not to avoid conflict or being in the spotlight.  I have a great deal of trouble making decisions; change is not something I invite.  Often I've been on auto-pilot to get through tough, stressful times, ignoring  my emotions and body sensations. R/L

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Doesn’t work though, does it? You have realized egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s survival plan is for its survival, not yours, and so you, like the rest of us, have been “forced” to seek your salvation through conscious, compassionate awareness. This is a good thing! This will bring you the true peace you long for, AND it will give you a lovely life with you at the same time. It’s SUCH a good thing! Gassho